The Perfect Poker Table

THE PERFECT When you play poker, you're supposed to watch your opponents carefully; to pick up tells and betting patterns, or simply to understand at what level the other players are playing the game. But, it's also rather fun to watch the other players, simply to view the endless stupidity so many recreational poker players love to show off. And, no matter where we go, it seems like the same players are always there. They may look different, and they may dress different, but they play the same, making reads much easier. POKER TABLE SEAT 3 THE GUY WITH SUNGLASSES YOU DON'T PLAY THE CARDS, YOU PLAY THE PLAYERS SEAT 2 SEAT 4 THE GUY WHO THINKS POKER SHOULD BE FAIR (OR SOME OTHER BULLSHIT HE HEARD NORMAN CHAD SAY ON A WSOP TELECAST IN 2008). THE DRUNK HOW MUCH IS IT TO CALL? I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN PLAY THIS GAME. SEAT 1 SEAT 5 THE GUY WHO WOULD WIN EVERY HAND IF ONLY HE HAD THE HAND HE HAD LAST HAND, OR IF HE HAD CLUBS INSTEAD OF HEARTS, OR IF THE FLOP HAD BEEN COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, OR IF HE'D BEEN DEALT HIS FAVORITE HAND, OR IF HE'D CALLED THAT $230 ALL-IN WITH 7-HIGH AND Ā BACKDOOR FLUSH DRAW THE WANNABE PRO HOW CAN YOU CALL WITH THAT HAND IN THAT SPOT? IF THAT ACE HAD BEEN A KING, AND ANOTHER FIVE HAD COME ON THE RIVER, AND YOU HAD NINES INSTEAD OF SEVENS, WE TOTALLY WOULD HAVE HIT THE BAD BEAT. SEAT 9 YOU HOW THE HELL AM I DOWN $400 TO THESE FUCKING PEOPLE? SEAT 6 THE OLD GUY I FOLD. SEAT 7 SEAT 8 THE ANGRY GUY THE LOSER YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DEAL FOUR CLUBS, YOU SACK OF SHIT DEALER? CalvinAyrecom http://calvinayre.com/2013/05/23/poker/people-is-stupid-the-perfect-poker-table/