Nursery Crimes

This is a classified document detailing an imaginary game whose purpose is currently unknown. NURSERY CRIMES without rhyme or reason Fx Nursery Crimes is an imaginary game from an imaginary publisher. All credit for the maddening ideas within this document can be blamed on Karen Fielding | Krillatron Upon the discovery of this non-existant game, I need for company and friendship was strangely strengthened. I became inheremtly aware of my inability to complete this would-be-game without help from allies. Perhaps this was some sort of subliminal message from the mythological creators as they knew I would not be able to fathom the ideas expressed in the title by myself. Perhaps a passing guardian angel saw the imminent danger I was exposing myself to. Perhaps it was the '4-player multiplayer' message on the delusive box. After acquiring the specified number of friends, my fictional journey began. Within this document I aim to bring this fabricated game to life. The sham of a game gives the pseudo-players the opportunity to chose one of four characters to play, all modelled after traditional fairy tales and nursery rhymes. JACK JILL Special 1: Beyond The Pail -throws water over the Special l: I am Le Tired -climbs onto Jacks back current arena -increased allied movement to regenerate health -10 health per second -decreased enemy movement -cannot attack -lasts 15 seconds -cooldown: N/A -cooldown: 45 seconds Special 2: UNKNOWN NAME -heals the target ally for 20 health -cooldown: 10 seconds Special 2: UNKNOWN LITTLE MISS MUFFETT Special 1: Spin a Web -spins while poison shoots out the spider's legs -small knockback on nearby enemies -10 damage to all hit enemies -poisons hit enemies for 30 additional damage over 3 seconds -cooldown: 30 seconds Special 2: UNKNOWN NAME -spider legs shield LMM from all incoming projectile damage -drains 10 mana per deflect -cooldown: N/A GEORGIE PORGIE Special l: Sexism -increase female attack power by +10 for 10 seconds -allows female in-combat health regen for 10 seconds -cooldown: 40 seconds Special 2: UNKNOWN NAME -PASSIVE -2x attack vs. females -0.5x attack vs. males -lx attack vs. neutrals In this artifical game, there seems to be some sort of concocted gameplay. The player is tasked with hunting down and destroying some phony 'boss' types. Here I document my imaginary adventures in this game and some of the 'bosses' counterfeit character apparently encountered. my MAROON RIDING HOOD and SOME KIND OF VERY FURRY BEAR Maroon Riding Hood greets the player after they have, apparently, crossed the Fictional Forest. It is not a nice greeting. Maroon Riding Hood is protecting the bridge which leads to Grandmother's Cottage, a friendly NPC my ficticious character is compelled to save. -MRH attacks via. bow and arrow from her high stand -high stand collapses when SKOVFB is killed 02 -MRH has low health and a slow attack -SKOVFB has high health and a moderate attack -tail swipe attack (30 damage, 30 second cooldown) -bite (5 damage, 7 second cooldown) -shoulder barge (20 damage, knockback, 30 second cooldown) I am rather sure this is less of a creature and more of a swiss army knife. LOOT: What A Big Bow You Have BO-PEEP and her (apparently) DEMONIC SHEEP Little Bo-Peep She lost her sheep After poker with some hellions So she summoned them back With her big sheep-head staff And now she commands sheep minions Little Bo-Peep can be found in a field bereft of sheep, in an arena a short distance from the Faux-Farmlands. The sheep will be here soon. -Bo-Peep attacks via. her sheep-head staff -deals 25 damage per hit -uses 5 mana per hit - 1.2 second cooldown =medium health -periodic summoning of sheep parts HEADLESS SHEEP -waddles towards opponents -explodes on impact for 10 damage to all nearby units You I would assume the sheep legs are due in part to the imaginary game with the SHEEPLESS HEAD -projectile -hits target for 15 damage 'hellions'. Or maybe the faux-creator is Welsh. LOOT: UNKNOWN NAME (Sheep-Head Staff) BLOODY MARY MARY Theoretically encountered in a cemetery with flowers bursting out of all the graves. Highly disturbing take on the children's song, but my friends refused to let me wuss out here. Bastards. Squosoad ghastly all thoxe -BMM has very high health and a high damage output -she attacks via. her guillotine-axe -her shield allows her to take -5 damage from all sources -can swing her guillotine-axe once per RIP seconds for 50 damage LOOT: UNKNOWN NAME (Guillotine-Axe) There is a 4th "Mini-Boss' I was told to pretend to encounter and kill, however I pseudo-got scared and left the game. Mainly because I heard there might, maybe, theoretically be some kind of big-bad final boss. You need each player to hold an item from each mini-boss to be able to beat it. But I don' t want to, Jerry. Please leave me alone. I’ll document the items and weapons if you let me stop. Other than the weaponry listed above, the following đamage-producing items can be found in this mockery of a game. HUMPTYS BRICK SPRATT PLATTER THURSDAYS BOW very common projectile damage/hit: 10 Common uncommon ranged, no ammunition damage/hit: 10 cooldown: Os ranged, uses arrows damage/hit: 15 cooldown: 1.5s cooldown: 1s buy: 60 sell: 45 NOTE: returns on hit buy: 20 buy: 180 sell: 135 NOTE: Thursday's child has far to go sell: 15 NOTE: stacks up to 5 THIS PIGS SWORD FOOD includes: APPLE (10 health) Hot Cross Bun (10 mana) Horner' s Plum (10 health + 10 mana) Cake Marked Tea From Polly (35 mana) Blackbird Pie (35 health + 35 mana) First Star Of The Night (full restore) Common melee damage/hit: 20 cooldown: 2.5s 'B' (35 health) buy: 80 sell: 60 NOTE: This little piggy savaged them all It would appear that each fabricated character has an inventory which will hold 2 weapons and 2 other items. They can equip one item at a time and swap items using a theoretical button sequence which ticks through the available items. It would appear that items can then be hypothetically used 'R1' shoulder pad on an XBOX controller or by left clicking on a mouse. Though this phony game also claims that the user has the ability to re-map buttons at whim. by pressing the 0000000 o00 000000 o0000 x 50 OX 45 I hate this game. 000000 MA0000000 0000 Sx 35 X50 Can I stop pretending to test it now?