Nixon is Lord A.K.A Brad Evans

NIXON IS LORD A.K.A. BRAD EVANS LONG, GREASY HAIR Who has time to cut their hair or shower when they're busy terrorizing online forum members? PALE INDOOR COMPLEXION PERMA-WRINKLE BETWEEN BROWS Going outside is for people who fail at the Internet. Brought on by being a combination of frustrated and focused all the time., THICK NECK The carotid artery walls in the neck thicken with the stress of being right BAGS UNDER EYES RED BULL CAN IN HAND Sleepless nights are signs of diligent Internet trolling. all the time. Access to the reserve of energy needed for firing off inflammatory BAD POSTURE SMALL SHARP TEETH From gritting down chompers in fits of resentful anger. A natural effect of having to carry comments. the weight of the ignorant Internet world upon one's shoulders. WORN-DOWN CAPS LOCK BUTTON BIG BELLY Full of vitriol. And Cheetos. Due to excessive Internet yelling. WRIST BRACE To fight off carpal tunnel syndrome. SWEAT PANTS Jeans are just so00 restricive. CRUMB PILE Taking your eyes off the screen while eating is a no-no, even if it means making a mess of Mother's 1970's carpet.