A Graphic Guide to Facebook Portraits

the Eiffel Tower caressing each other's faces wrestling in the snow laying in the grass with parrots on shoulders kissing nuzzling trying to roller skate beach in front of sunset sharing an ice cream cone VACATION BEING GROSS LAUGHING LIKE LUNATICS deranged smiles bathtub BEING touching GROSS keg stand noses YOU AND SIGNIFICANT WEDDING in rowboat OTHER YOU AND PET PASSED OUT matching outfits beer bong eating cake breast attractive stranger feeding prom in Iraq spring break PARTY Halloween PAIR YOU AND BABY FILIAL YOU AND graduation EMBRACE FRIEND THREE OR holding up booze family portrait MORE on fishing trip karaoke YOU AND FAMOUS GROUP PORTRAIT PERSON SPORTING EVENT St. Patrick's Day BAR And their bodyguard, pushing you away summer camp baby you screaming Co-worker happy hour pointing at team's blue sky name on shirt TAKEN A thin you LONG TIME AGO hang gliding rock climbing not-bald you white wall FACEBOOK YOU ONLY DID ONCE Photoshopped PROFILE scuba diving (driving PORTRAITS + sneer middle finger offering drink beach yoga blowing smoke at lens ACTIVITY Europe INTERACTING WITH VIEWER marijuana jogging ON VACATION large fish Sword SELF EXOTIC BADASS PORTRAIT gun LOCATION CONSPICUOUS hiking on a boat PROPS bling mountaintop rooftop EXPENSIVE sports car acoustic guitar camera hiding face SELF DECEPTIVE SHOT excessive makeup Asian stripper motorcycle PROFESSIONAL PHOTO brick wall extreme angle in underwear windswept hair fashion model feigned shyness PARTIALLY UNDRESSED USING in swimsuit MIRROR DRESS- movie star UP ab reveal shirtless CAVE-LIKE ROOM blinding flash suicide face cos play BATHROOM sexy face flexing murder face sleepy eyes dead robot eyes PORTRAIT INTERPRETATION FAST OMPANY CROPPING ZOOM 1 1 cerebral, observant, possibly fat 1 introverted, loner, possibly hiding a dark secret 2 shy, playful, possibly crooked-nosed 3 2 average, well-rounded 3 outgoing, talkative, possibly balding 3 extroverted, open, or possibly a skilled Machiavellian manipulator 4 slutty, possibly headless 4 intense, possibly a poet, or a murderer, or both (like Hannibal Lecter!) ANGLE 0'-5° 6'-15* 16-30* 31°-50 < 51° ' 이이 stable fun-loving risky business dangerously volatile self-consciously quirky DESIGNED BY DOOGIE HORNER * in 2% of portraits, cropping and angle is due to drunkenness, laziness, or lack of artistic prowess, and doesn't otherwise reflect subject's character 의 으 !