The Simpleton's Guide to Pride and Prejudice

The Simpleton's Guide to PRIDE and PREJUDICE An un-definitive reference for those who have not read and fallen in love with Jane Austen, those who have read and have not fallen in love, and those who have read and fallen in love yet retained a good sensibility of humor Important Characters Charles Bingley was just the sort of good-fortuned fellow the Bennets were looking for. He was fond of Jane. And then not fond of Jane. Jane Bennet was the eldest, shared a name with the novel's author and we all know what that means. And so on. Mr. & Mrs. Bennet had five daughters and a certain desperation to marry them off to someone in possession of a good fortune. Elizabeth Bennet met Mr. Darcy at a dance. He snubbed her. She snubbed him back. And so on. Mary Bennet, the middle sister, claimed to be the "only plain one in the family." Of course dd this was debatable. Kitty Bennet was the 4th dd sister, an unfortunate position in a story about the eldest, cleverest, youngest and plainest. Fitzwilliam Darcy didn't think the Bennet girls were good enough for him. Until he did. And so on. Lydia Bennet was the youngest but tallest Bennet girl. In a break from the off-again-off-again pattern of her sisters' romances, Lydia ran off with a shady officer, giving Mr. Darcy a chance to be secretly We dare not speak of the disposition of those named Collins, Gardiner, and Lucas lest such insights confound you past due consciousness George Wickham was the conveniently shady officer who cost Mr. Darcy a bunch of money. generous with his good fortune. Plot Summary Or, as some have said, "Did something happen while I was sleeping?" Wealthy, single Bingley comes to town. The Bennets see good fortune for their five unmarried daughters in his good fortune. A ball is held. (What else.) Bingley dances with Jane. His friend Darcy refuses to dance with Elizabeth. Schmuck. Ah, what luck: Clergyman Mr. Collins will someday inherit Mr. Bennet's property. Why not get one of his daughters as part of the deal? He makes a not-so-modest proposal to Elizabeth. Too bad she says "No way." Who needs clergy when the militia is swaggering by? A little gossip with soldier T Wickham and Elizabeth knows she should be glad Darcy was contrary at the dance. Poor Darcy. He's falling for Elizabeth now, while she is falling for the gossip. Darcy makes his proposal to Elizabeth. She is really good at "No way." A habit? Darcy says f-. Well, in Jane Austen language, it is decidedly polite. You might not even know he's upset that his love just promised to never be part of his life. Don't underestimate the power of a good handwritten letter. Darcy's dispels the Wickham gossip. And don't underestimate the power of good dollar (pound) either. Darcy's financial gift saves the day by making things right between Lizzie's younger sister and Wickham. At least someone's getting married. Marriage is contagious. At least in a Jane Austen novel. Bingley and Jane make it official. A lady with a fortune (Darcy's Auntie) tells Elizabeth she's heard gossip (back to plot square 1?)-Darcy is supposedly going to marry Elizabeth and this is unacceptable. Auntie says to say "No way." You can guess what Lizzie does. Contrariness becomes the lady. Marriage ensues. (Shall we dance?) Important Places Hertfordshire Longbourn - Bennet residence Netherfield Park - Bingley residence Lucas Lodge - Lucas residence Village of Meryton - quartered the militia Derbyshire DOO Pemberley - Mr. Darcy's residence It would cause much less consternation if people simply said "the Bennet residence" rather than indulge in naming an estate as though it were a cat or dog. Only the Lucas family seems to have any sense at all. What They Might Have Read Despite Elizabeth's disdain for poetry, we surmise Jane Austen's characters POEMS etc. Mr. Darcy: Tintern Abbey (Wordsworth) Jane: Shakespeare's sonnets Mr. Bingley: Faerie Queen (Spenser) would have perused the usual fare of the day- notably Shakespeare, Milton, and Donne, Elizabeth: Robert Burns among others. Wickham: The Flea (Donne) Caroline Bingley: The Rape of the Lock (Pope) Lady Catherine: A Modest Proposal (Swift) COLERIDGE John Milton Thomas Gray Mr. Darcy: I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love. William Blake Samuel Johnson WILLIAM COWPER Elizabeth:I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away. Oliver Goldsmith Who's Pride and Who's Prejudice? The question could have been avoided altogether by simply naming the book "Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy" We quote. You decide. "His pride," said Miss Lucas, "does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud." "That is very true," replied Elizabeth, "and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine." "If I were as rich as Mr. Darcy," cried a young Lucas, who came with his sisters, "I should not care how proud I was. I would keep a pack of foxhounds , and drink a bottle of wine a day." Elizabeth to Darcy: "Long before it had taken place, my opinion of you was decided." Upon reading Darcy's letter after she refuses his proposal: "She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd." Darcy to Elizabeth: "..these offenses might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design." Words You Must Know to Read with Felicity It is advisable to read Austen with a dictionary in one hand and the novel in the other. She undoubtedly wrote in such a manner. We submit you could commence with the accompanying representatives: "Bingley was endeared to Darcy by the easiness, openness, and ductility of his temper, though no disposition could offer a greater contrast to his own, and though with his own he never appeared dissatisfied." "... Elizabeth still saw superciliousness in their treatment of everybody, hardly excepting even her sister, and could not like them; though their kindess to Jane, such as it was, had a value as arising in all probability from the influence of their brother's admiration." "... you meant it to be a sort of panegyric, of compliment to yourself- and yet what is there so very laudable in a precipitance which must leave very necessary business undone, and can be of no real advantage to yourself or any one else?" "But no such happy marriage could now teach the admiring multitude what connubial felicity really was." "Wholly inattentive to her sister's feelings, Lydia flew about the house in restless ecstasy, calling for everyone's congratulations, and laughing and talking with more violence than ever; whilst the luckless Kitty continued in the parlour repined at her fate in terms as unreasonable as her accent was peevish." ts "his infographic is proudly brought to you by Tweetspeak Poetry, where you'll find the best in poetry and poetic things. To learn more, visit us at TweetspeakPoetry.com E @tspoetry f /tspoetry