The Anatomy of a McNugget
Anatomy of the "McNugget".
For many years, it was believed that the "McNugget" served at McDonalds restaurants was a batter-fried piece of formed chicken. Now, Mike the Pod has learned the ugly truth. In its search for less-expensive, more plentiful food source, McDonalds has employed genetic engineers to create the macnugeta repulsiva, a diminutive creature that lives in tanks of protein-enriched slime lit only by black light, until its brood grows large enough for it to be thrown live into frying batter (usually when their offspring reaches the healthy number of six, nine or twenty), Herewith, our disturbing findings.
eye (often accounts for that strange cartilage "crunch" when eaten)
fore-pincers
primary and vestigial nostril pairs
hard bony incisors (used to open snails)
chitinous mating sheath (retracts before intercourse)
fore whiskers
gills
aft whiskers
prehensile tail
paddle-like feet
Adult Male.
Stubborn yet easy to capture, the male fertilizes his mate with a yellow ichor (referred to by McDonalds Corp. as "Hot Mustard").
gills (located on back to prevent suffocation during mating)
egg bulb
eye
primary, secondary and tertiary nostrils (third also functions as anus)
recessed fertilization canal (with protective cilia)
flourescent tongue
aft whiskers (bluer than the male)
lubricated orifice
retractable egg-releasing tube
flippers
Adult Female.
The female has a thicker coating of secreted mucous and is therefore more difficult to catch. She uses her flourescent tongue to make chirping noises, much like a dolphin, to attract the male.
eye (remains closed until six days after hatching)
protein-absorption membrane
poop chute
extra skin layer for warmth, using blood vessels (shed during puberty)
excurrent/incurrent siphon
spiked pseudopod
Larva.
Cruel though it may be, the larvae are cooked as early as eight days after they hatch. Succinic acid is required to neutralize the natural poisons in the larvae (and is commonly found in McDonalds' Sweet-and-Sour Sauce). Anatomy of the "McNugget". For many years, it was believed that the "McNugget" served at McDonalds restaurants was a batter-fried piece of formed chicken. Now, Mike the Pod has learned the ugly truth. In its search for a less-expensive, more plentiful food source, McDonalds has employed genetic engineers to create the macnugeta repulsiva, a diminutive creature that lives in tanks of protein-enriched slime lit only by black light, until its brood grows large enough for it to be thrown live into frying batter (usually when their offspring reaches the healthy number of six, nine or twenty). Herewith, our disturbing findings. eye (often accounts for that strange cartilage "crunch" when eaten) fore-pincers aft whiskers primary and vestigial nostril pairs hard bony incisors (used to open snails) prehensile tail chitinous mating sheath (retracts before intercourse) fore whiskers paddle-like feet gills Adult Male. Stubborn yet easy to capture, the male fertilizes his mate with a yellow ichor (referred to by McDonalds Corp. as "Hot Mustard"). gills (located on back to prevent suffocation during mating) aft whiskers (bluer than the male) egg bulb lubricated orifice eye retractable egg-releasing tube secondary and tertiary nostrils (third also functions as anus) flourescent tongue recessed fertilization canal (with protective cilia) flippers Adult Temale. The female has a thicker coating of secreted mucous and is therefore more difficult to catch. She uses her flourescent tongue to make chirping noises, much like a dolphin, to attract the male. extra skin layer for warmth, using blood vessels (shed during puberty) eye (remains closed until six days after hatching) excurrent/ incurrent protein-absorption membrane siphon poop chute spiked pseudopod Larva. Cruel though it may be, the larvae are cooked as carly as eight days after they hatch. Succinic acid is required to neutralize the natural poisons in the larvae (and is commonly found in McDonalds Sweet-and-Sour Sauce). copyright © Matty Boy Anderson www.mikethepod.com
The Anatomy of a McNugget
Source
Unknown. Add a sourceCategory
HumorGet a Quote