19 Types of Christians


Most people take religion on in different capacities. While some are deeply devout on a daily basis, others may only pray in times of great desperation. Some seek to eliminate humanity's wrongs while others seek to prove humanity wrong. Take a look at nineteen typical types of Christians to see if you fit or break the mold - or know someone who does.

Jesus is My BFF

Teenagers who think Christianity is trendy

Can be spotted wearing "WWJD" bracelets, "Jesus Is My Homeboy" t-shirts, etc.

May profess their faith, but nor practice it or know much about it.

FAVORITES: Justin Bieber, Twilight, Christian rock/rap

True Heroes

Focused on the benefits of religion, food will and humanitarianism rather than debate, disapproval and antagonism

Seek equality, happiness and prosperity for all

This belief may sometimes take precedence over strict, literal biblical adherence

Often martyrs - willing to die for what they believe in

INSPIRATIONS: Martin Luther King, Jr., Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Right-Wing Zealots

Some overlap with Haters and Reactives

May participate in The Tea Party

Actively opposed to liberalism, atheism, and all that comes with it

NOTABLES: Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Pat Robertson, Glenn Beck

Punk Rockers for Christ

Aim to dispel the myth that Christians must be plain, simple, quiet

Express themselves through appearance and music

May attend skate church - a free form, youth-focused, progressive church

Often have tattoos

NOTABLES: Steve Baldwin, MxPx, Good Charlotte, Tooth and Nail Records


May read RELEVANT (a fittingly intellectual Christian publication)

Take their studies seriously, often are well-traveled - may have engaged in studies abroad, especially in Europe

Open to theological/world view debate, can be more open-minded, tolerant of other religions

Holier Than Thous

Believe they are spiritually superior to their peers May then believe their views are more important/correct

Judge others based on their own moral compass

Quick to point fingers, but run the risk of hypocrisy

Publicly declare moral accomplishments that are rare (e.g. virginity through marriage)

Draw attention to their faith through public displays of faith (see "Tebowing")

His praying on the firled inspired the term "Tebowing" - to pray on one knee when no one else is

NOTABLES: NFL player Tim Tebow

Serving the Poor

Work to correct humanity's wrongdoings

Often sacrifice own comforts for the benefit of others

Believe in public service/going God's will

May work in shelters, soup kitchens, missionary services, Peace Corps, or similar organizations

INSPIRATIONS: Jesus, Mother Theresa, Shane Claiborne


Reminisce about the "good old days" (the '50s)

May still wear antiquated hairstyles/clothing from said era

Don't understand the modern, crass incarnations of Christians

FAVORITES: Leave it to Beaver, piping hot dinner at 6:00 sharp, pies cooling on the windowsill

Artsy Hipsters

Poets, painters, musicians, writers, designers

Channel God/spirituality through their creative endeavors

Taster in art often changes over time

Choice of books may be dictated by cover art/typography Overt religious implications are usually avoided in favor of unique and subversive expressions of faith

May dress in layers, with lots of draping, scarves, long tops, leggings...and the more vintage the better

Salt of the Earth

May indeed disassociate from all cultures of excess; may be Amish, Mennonite

Primary interest is personal fulfillment/holiness

No focus on admonishing others

Try to lead simple lives

Have less need for material wealth


Blind, unquestioning faith, which may be professed more than practiced

Favor faith over logic in all cases

Keep a crucifix on the wall - it may be the only decoration in the house

Probably have not read the bible


Those who try to market Christianity as a good/service

Healers, psychics, etc.

NOTABLES: Benny Hinn, Sylvia Brown, Steve Martin as Jonas Nightingale in Leap of Faith


Nearly the opposite of Salt of the Earth Insist that others must hear and share their views

Just as Holier Than Thous believe they are spiritually superior, Moralizers believe they're socially/morally superior

May associate with Holier Than Thous, Reactives and Right-Wing Zealots


Twitter trending hashtag #GodIsNotGreat was started in memoriam to Christopher Hitchens, an author who frequently criticized religious beliefs and died at the end of 2011 ("God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything" was a best-selling books of his; hence the hashtag)

The Hater response included tweets suck as: "I will shoot you in the face" and "Whoever started #GodIsNotGreat needs the sh** beat out of them! >:HOW CARE YOU!"

Westboro Baptist Church:


Focused on eliminating what they perceive to be false teachings/schools of thought

May support removal of evolution from public school curriculum (as fact, as least)

May in turn support Texas' mission to replace evolutionary theory with creationism in textbooks

May be confused with "Haters"

Arguments in favor of their own opinions may take a backseat to the quest to prove conflicting viewpoints wrong


Christian because, hey, everyone else around them is

Attend church only on significant holidays (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas)

Memorize a few biblical verses to recite them at strategic times

May wear crosses for fashion rather than faith

Considerable room for overlap with the other types

Doubting Thomases

From the disciple Thomas (Didymus), who did not believe Jesus had risen from the dead...he insisted he must see Jesus and his wounds before he would believe

Modern version: the former Christian who has become agnostic, but remains open-minded toward Christianity

Question their faith

Want to believe, but sometimes find themselves unable

May find that science or other Doubting Thomases are holding them back from full faith


Old Catholic ladies never seen without rosaries and saints around their neck

May strongly adhere to myths related to mother's backs and black cats

May do well to remember the First Commandment, and that carrying superstitions indicated a lack of trust in God


Avid fans of precious/delicate art with Christian undertones

Love scenery, happy families, children, etc.

Mantles, living room and hallways may be decorated extensively with such art

FAVORITES: Thomas Kinkade, Precious Moments

19 Types of Christians

shared by absolutelytrue on Feb 09, 2012 in Humor


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Take a look at 19 typical types of Christians to see if you fit or break the mold--or know someone who does.
Tags: religion
Category: Humor
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