How hard can it be to buy an ALGORITHM?
How hard can it be to buy an ALGORITHM? It's my old business DATA starting to stink! I must do something before it rots! I must REFINE and Cloud Park Adventures proudly presents: Mr. BizMan buys an O BUSINESS UTILIZE the data! What's that ALGORITHM SMELL? ** (as a Service) BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE SOFTWARE Hi there! Can you Why buy when you can use refine data? free open source tools.. BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE SOFTWARE Sure! Our open source community has made great free data analysis tools! I wanna refine data! Buy our BI tool! Can they handle my data? Does it solve my problem? Well, some of it. But you can extend the tool with your own data wrappers and algorithms! Probably not. But you can pretend it does! Most of our customers do so! ONE SIZE FITS ALL! I'm not a software developer. Should I try one of those Then why should I buy it? Too bad. I guess you're not a scientist either.? Business may contain traces of ALGORITHMS Intelligence Itt's fun to play with and creates pretty reports! tools? SALES Nope. O ol Then you should probably find one. You know, these tools are developed by scientists for scientists and normal people usually find them complicated.. No thanks. Hey, don't go! Buy now and get 3 months support for free... Work for me! What a great idea! P'Il hire the best scientist to work on my data! In my understanding, you are proposing a joint research project between your company and the University. Is that correct? Why?I work here as a researcher and enjoy it. RESEARC CHAMBE RESEARC CHAMBE Then refine my data! Errh... I RESEARCH CHAMBER PHO guess so? Why don't you use algorithms for that? Then we must apply for public funding and find international partners PHD REQUIRED De NOT dsturb Genkus at work Algorithms? I don't have any - could you create one for me? Gens Do NOT disturb! Genius at work Money and more scientists? Sounds good! When do I get the results? My algorithms are described in academic publications. KNO In fact, we get the money and expect you to fund the project also. A small project like this can be completed in 2-3 years. KNOCK! They make my head ache. I just want an application! What?! That doesn't work. I need the solution NOW! Maybe you should talk to my professor. Hrmh, we are NOT a software house. Try using commercial services. Mr. BizMan, I'm now ready to make our offer for the algorithm development project Hey nerds! Some BizMan wants us to develop an algorithm. Can we do it? Aren't they a bit like math? Sounds complex... Couldn't we just make him a fancy web GUI to hide the lack of science? Gee, that was fast... Bu-huu...! I will never find the algorithm... Soon my data is too old and useless... All those great business opportunities - gone, forever...! I suggest we do this project using the Agile Development method What does that mean? P've once implemented code that calculated the We develop in two week sprints - payment in advance SLES average of numbers. Does that count? So, when will it be ready? Impossible to estimate STAR JARS ADFKD How good will the algorithm be? Absolutely no idea. S And how much will this project cost? Close enough! I'll sell the project. I will use that agile trick again... Totally irrelevant question. Listen, dude... After every sprint we show you a demo and you tell us what to do next. It's ready when you decide so. Do we have a deal...? í
How hard can it be to buy an ALGORITHM?
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