How to live a life without regrets

LIFE'S GREAT How to Live a Life Without Regrets Created by happify Science-based activities & games for a happier, healthier life at Happify.com WHAT DO WE REGRET? 90% of people say they have a major regret about something about their lives. # 2 0 Regret is the second most frequently mentioned emotion after love. THE TAKEAWAY Researchers from Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management found that our biggest regrets tend to revolve around: FOCUS ON RELATIONSHIPS ROMANCE 18.1% Researchers say our social regrets loom FAMILY 15.9% largest because of our inherent need to belong. EDUCATION 13.1% CAREER 12.2% FINANCE 9.9% 44% of women have romantic regrets. only MISSING OUT ON THE FUN 19% Over time, regrets about giving in to pleasures fade, while we become more of men do. disappointed about fun we passed up. Because guilt over indulgences is short-lived, while feelings of missing out arise gradually. The takeaway: We'll be more satisfied with life if we (sometimes!) choose a little vice over WHY? virtue. The more choices we have, the more regret we have about what we chose. What Could Have Been We feel the most regret about missed chances: In the long-run, we're more likely to regret things we didn't do than things we did do. Our "psychological immune system" helps us recover from bad experiences quicker than we assume, thanks to our ability to rationalize and reframe how we see things. But it's harder to use these tricks to get over never having tried something in the first place. WHY? THE UPSIDE OF REGRET We consider regret the most beneficial of 12 negative emotions, including anger, guilt, fear and sadness. The Bright Side Regret helps us: Make sense of Avoid more Fix our past experiences mistakes missteps Opportunity Breeds Regret, and Regret Breeds Change We regret things more when we can still make a course correction to fix a mistake, advance a goal or better a situation. Ex WHY? It's called the "opportunity principle": When we have a chance to make a change for the better, we feel guilt about not doing it. When things feel out of our hands, we rationalize SOLD away regret. MOVING PAST REGRET TO LET GO OF REGRET... "What did I do wrong?" "It could've been even worse!" V 3.05 TRY TO LEARN SOMETHING LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. FROM THE MISTAKE. "How can I fix this?" "No use crying over spilled milk." 3 DON'T DWELL ON IT. TAKE ACTION. Why You Should Right Your Wrongs Today Older people experience regret more keenly than younger people, and it hurts their health and well-being more. It's harder to right your wrongs the older you get, so regrets become more painful. WHY? Own Up Putting your regrets out there might help you feel better. An analysis of more than 13,500 tweets found that we make our regrets public when we're looking for social support. TIP Go easy on yourself. Mistakes are part of the journey. 5 TIPS FOR LIVING A REGRET-FREE LIFE According to Bronnie Ware's book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, you'll be much more satisfied at the end of your life if you: Live a life that feels meaningful to YOU (not one based on the expectations of others) Have the courage to express your feelings I LOVA Simply allow yourself to be happier Prioritize family time over long hours at the office Stay in touch with old friends MODERN REGRETS 1 in 4 When it comes to our careers, the biggest regret is taking a dissatisfying job just for the money. home owners has SOLD buyer's remorse. 29% of adults 34 or younger have posted something on social media that they think could harm their career. 25% 31% of us regret sharing of people regret selfies. their tattoos. "The only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all." - Ted Hughes, British Poet Laureate Brought to you by happify Build skills for a happier life with fun, science-based activities and games at www.happify.com Sources Aslam, A., Owen, C. (2013) Fashions change but tattoos are forever -- Time to regret. AAD. FindLaw survey. http://company.findlaw.com/press-center/2013/a-quarter-of-young-people-have-facebook-or-other-social-media-pos.html Gilbert, D.T., Pinel, E.C., Wilson, T.D. (1998)Immune neglect: A source of durability bias in affective forecasting. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Kivetz, R., Keinan, A. (2006) Repenting Hyperopia: An Analysis of Self-Control Regrets. Journal of Consumer Research. The Legacy Project.http://legacyproject.human.cornell.edu/category/avoiding-regrets/ Morrison, M. Roese, N.J. (2011) Regretsof the Typical American: Findings From a Nationally Representative Sample. Social Psychological & Personality Science. PicMonkey / Harris Poll. Re-Constructing Emotional Spaces: From Experience to Regulation.Prague College of Psychosocial Studies Press, 2011. Redfin / Harris Poll. http://blog.redfin.com/blog/2014/04/1-in-4-homeowners-have-buyers-remorse.html#.U452ZpRdVhl Roese, N.J., Summerville, A. (2005) What We Regret Most.And Why. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Saffrey, C., Summerville, A., Roese, N.J. (2008) Praise for regret: People value regret above other negative emotions. Motivation and Emotion. Summerville, A., Buchanan, J., (2014) Functions of Personal Experience and of Expression of Regret. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The Top 5 Career Regrets. Harvard Business Review Blog. Wrosch, C., Bauer, I., Scheier, M.F. (2005) Regret and Quality of Life Across the Adult Life Span.Psychology and Aging. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware