George Pegios Emotional Dependence

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George Pegios - Emotional dependency is a persistent pattern of unmet emotional needs that you try to meet in a maladaptive way with other people. All dependency, as its name indicates, ends up leadin... g to a suffocating situation, where there is a lack of inner freedom. The symptoms that we find in emotional dependence are: Low self-esteem, sudden changes in mood, fear of change, excessive idealization of another person, low tolerance for frustration and a low self-concept, inability to set limits on certain relationships and say no. George Pegios - The main causes of emotional dependence are born in childhood. When we were children we did not learn to be autonomous and independent, and we continue to carry emotional deficiencies that were not satisfied at the time. The emotionally dependent person usually has a history marked by the lack of affection. It is likely that during your childhood you did not receive the love you needed from the significant people in your life. They learn that to be loved it is necessary to meet the expectations of others. This causes the child to seek the attention of others, to strive to do things well to obtain love. In many cases, because they felt alone and unprotected during childhood, they now experience separation anxiety, fear of abandonment, and fear of being alone. In these cases, to achieve security, affection and protection, they use the strategy of submission. Of course, beyond childhood experiences, at the base of emotional dependence lies a distorted interpretation of love. For these people, love is synonymous with admiration, possession and obsessive attachment, rather than a reciprocal exchange of affection in which each party must maintain its individuality and freedom. For dependent people, loving means surrendering to the other, to the point of losing individuality, they do not understand that mature love is one that enriches both and enhances the best of each. George Pegios - The Consequences of Emotional Dependence * Repeated breakups. The person who suffers an emotional dependence on a partner is involved in a circle of continuous ruptures and reconciliations. It often happens that the way of being your partner does not satisfy you, but the fear of being alone or the idea of losing you always makes your arm twist. * Dissatisfaction and frustration. The emotional dependent never finds peace of mind because even when his partner is by his side, he is tormented by the idea of losing him. This results in an overwhelming relationship that ends in arguments and disagreements, which causes them to live in a state of permanent dissatisfaction and frustration. * Loss of "I". The dependent person is isolating herself, reduces her social activity to give herself completely to her partner. Little by little, he stops being who he is, since, by focusing so much on the other, he stops thinking about what he wants or likes, and begins to live through the needs and preferences of his partner. However, when a person abandons their dreams and goals, the "I" begins to blur and there comes a point where they no longer know if they act in a certain way because it really satisfies them or just because they want to please the person next to them. . * Pathological jealousy. The dependent person usually surrenders completely and blindly to the relationship, so he expects the same from the other, if this does not happen, he usually experiences jealousy that reaches a pathological level. As the relationship progresses, the emotional dependent will demand more and more time and displays of affection, coming to overwhelm the other, so that, in the long run, if they cannot overcome the emotional dependence, they will lose the person they love. * Psychological disorders. In many cases, the breakdown of the relationship creates a trauma that is difficult to overcome. The dependent person may react by hiding behind addictive behaviors that can lead to bulimia, alcoholism or drug addiction. It is also common for depressive symptoms to appear or obsessive behaviors to be triggered, which become a way to release tension.

George Pegios Emotional Dependence

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