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When Will My Team Win the Super Bowl?

WHEN WILL MY TEAM WIN THE SUPER BOWL? Do you care more about headlines than wins? CAN YOU FIRE YOUR GM? When you get you some glory hole. YES *** ... YES .. NO ... JETS Do vou have an . NO elite QB? ny When you find a QB who has his head in the game instead of his line- man's ass. YES When your scouting gets as thorough as the state's racial profiling. Is your team a black hole? Sometimes. ...... When Tom Coughlin's job is in danger. Again. YES NO Did you cheat your way to the Super Bowl? ******: Is your owner one of the worst people on the planet? Do you wear cheese on your head? EAIDERS YES Do you injure your opponents *** NO for money? YES NO .*: Shut up, bitch. YES NO YES Do you have a man named Suh on your Ioster? NO When you can root for the team without When your team knocks opponents out of games just because. When Belichick has sleeves to hide a trick up. When you get a taller QB. YES chanting a racial slur. When they play dirty. Oh wait. Is lean served at your tail- gates? Did you throw YES * your starting QB under the bus? NO When Jeremy Lin makes a chopped and screwed Christian rap album. YES Does your team only have one player? Did you let your QB get hit by a bus? This year. * Jim Harbaugh spazz NO YES When Cam Newton's smile isn't the only thing winning, Does your team have a longer rap sheet than Suge Knight? When you clone AP When the league mandates a 7 Mississippi" rule. YES NO When you get off Sänta's naughty list. (God forgives, Santa don't. When they convince Andy Reid that a box of Ding Dongs isn't an acceptable breakfast. When your team's PO. lets them off house arrest. Does your QBuse his head? ..... Will your team be in the same city in five years? YES .. YES NO Are you unbeatable at home? NO When San Diego no longer means, "Whale's vagina." His other one? NO Why Not? When Russell Wilson is as well paid as Pete Caso QBs at . YES NO Did your team overachieve? Because we'd rather hunt gators. Because Lakers fans need a team to root for that has a future. Does your team have Bane on it? YES NO .** YES When you get another wide receiver with a killer instinct, Do the Pats own your division? When Tim Tebow wouldn't be an upgrade at QB. And RBand TE and OT. When brain damage is properly celebrated again. When Brenda Warner gets hired as strength and vindictiveness coach YES NO Did you try to revive ř franchise with the Team Obliterator? Did your team finally wiñ a playoff game this year? B. Because the state isn't big enough for the Titans and the ghost of fat Elvis. YES NO Nevermore. Nevermore (unless they win this year, of course). Scott Norwood. When Kanye gets Reggie Bush cut from the team. When Deion's "Must Be the Money" goes platinum. When Warren Sapp sells When foot- ball is played on a 99.5 yard field. When they sign the clutch Manning (and by that we mean Cooper). BROUGHT TO YOU BY COMPLEX his last pair of Jordans.

When Will My Team Win the Super Bowl?

shared by Ariela on Feb 03
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The Super Bowl is near and bookies are saying the 49ers will be hoisting the Lombardi trophy. Those are the same guys who said the Jets didn't stand a chance in 1969 and the Patriots would lose by 14 ...

Publisher

Complex

Category

Sports
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