The Brett Favre Appreciation Mill

The Brett Favre Appreciation Mill 1. Genuine appreciation of Brett Favre, be it on account of his talents, his leadership of a team that returned to greatness, his general offensiveness, and/or his representation of the Real 3. Sentimental appreciation 5. Mild disappointment: Brett Favre blames the Packers for rushing him into his prior decision to retire of Favre's career: he announces his retirement after the 2007 season America 6. I'm honestly not sure of what this is or what it does but it's probably important 4. Curiosity: Favre announces his 2. Worried uncertainty: Favre decides to return for the 2006 season un-retirement 7. Vicarious regret: Favre retires again, makes us coin "re-retirement" 9. Gnashing of teeth: Favre signs with Vikings, is un-re-retired 10. Chaos, disorientation, confused despair: Favre plays really well 14. Sadism, nihilism: Delight at the expense of those at earlier steps in the 8. Closure: Favre says he is for real re-retired 11. A strange twist: we long for apathy but cannot achieve it process, 12. Feral, wild-eyed lashing out toward mainstream media for cackling, defeated resignation, voluntary insanity 13. Cynicism: sarcastically wondering aloud what Favre will do over-reporting story for the appeasement of folks who are just like who we used to be next 15. Machine rolls back into itself; steps 1 through 14 are repeated in reverse; sophisticated paper crumbles back into stupid wood; we realize every opinion and emotion we've ever had toward Favre, perhaps simultaneously in random permutations, both favorable and otherwise, both sentimental and cynical; we find the river at the end of the path to Self and discovering that Self is what we hated all along; but then again, so might Favre, or so might he someday, and perhaps we are not so different; and one day, we will stride to the cashier with a pair of Wranglers in hand, and stare at them and realize that we are probably purchasing them because we saw Brett Favre wearing them in a magazine advertisement, and here, at this moment, we will know who we really are, and know that either none of us are monsters or all of us are (not pictured)