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The Unofficial Comcast Customer Care Guide

THE COMPLETELY UNOFFICIAL CUSTOMER CARE GUIDE Comcast. STEP1 THE CUSTOMER IS NEVER RIGHT Comcast Tip: A great tactic is trapping your customer in a circular argument to continue to listen to them plead for their request. Can you disconnect our service, yes or no? What I'm trying to find out is why... Yes or No? Why don't you want those services? Because I don't want your services any longer So you're not interested in the fastest Internet in the country? SOUNDCLOUD.COM/RYAN-BLOCK-10/COMCASTIC-SERVICE STEP2 GIVE YOUR CUSTOMERS PET NAMES Nicknames like "A**hole Brown" are completely acceptable and actually encouraged! Comcast Unpaid Balanee New Charges $142.00- Due Now Contaet un: Owww.cemcesteom 0140NTY (44 Monthly Statement Summary Peviqun Credit Card Pament 1220/14 Unpaid Balance - Due Now Now Charges Due by 0013/15 Ahole Brown 271.17 -129.06 142.09 88.71 News from Comcast Tatal Amount Due $230.80 Peminder YOUR ACCDUNT IS NOW PAST DUE. ment nan hee New Charges Summary Vour cabie wa insoled in thepast 20 Please pay the outstanding baiance. Payments maled today may not reach us in time to avoid an addiionall se 0 adminrae late lee 1-477-424-22AA O XPINITY TV O XFINITY eme Go papetees wn oo, ge p to view and pay your Comcast Business bil ortine at Parfial Month Charges & Credits Changes nee rade to your account is h See he wing pages o moe Other Charges & Credits 68.70 STEP 3 WORK TIME IS YOUR TIME Don't have an answer? No big deal, tell your customer you will put them on "brief" hold and will be back with them in a moment. While on hold, don't be afraid to check fantasy football updates, pay bills or even take a cat nap! (800) 266-2278 STEP4 UPSELL! NO. MATTER. WHAT. Did your customer not want those 10 extra cable boxes? Too bad! Feel free to ship over $1,800 worth of unrequested equipment that they will be billed for. Big deal if this leads to the customer losing their job! $1,820 in equipment charges 1 PREVIOU S NEXT discount of $8.97, Additional HD Outlet- Oty 3 at a monthly rate of $0.25 each and Docss 3 Leased Mdm ata monthly te of $7.00 were removed from your account Unreturned CableCARD 12/28 90.00 Unreturned AnyRoom Hub 12/28 420.00 Unretumed CableCARD 12/28 90.00 Adjustments for services removed 12/17/13 Unreturned Pace Host 12/28 110.00 12170127 42 days 451day bad onmonth Unreturned CableCARD 12/28 90.00 Unreturned Pace Host Unretumed CableCARD 110.00 12/28 90.00 Unretumed Pace Host 42 days1.6585iday based on a month 12/28 110 00 Unrecovered Modem 12/28 70.00 HODVR Service (nludes Pace HD Host RI 1217 0127 42 days s0578iday based on a month 243 12/28 130.00 Unreturned CableCARD 12/28 90.00 Unreturmed AnyRoom Hub 12/28 420.00 All equipment must be returned to Comcast in order to have unreturned equipment charges removed from your account. 42 days s02day baed onamonth Total Other Charges & Credits $1820.00 STEPS IF THE CUSTOMER DOESN'T HAVE PROOF, LIE. Stick to the script we gave you Day One even if you feel the customer may have a point. Only change your mind under EXTREME circumstances such as previous recordings. We try to negotiate, and again, that is a valid char ge. But since I advised my manager that there is a recording and you were misinfor med , then she's the one who can approve that $82 STEP6 DEATH IS NOT AN EXCUSE! Stick to the policy, for example only allow the listed account holder to be responsible for managing and cancelling account services, even if deceased! A policy is a policy. RID STEP7 OVER PROMISE & UNDER DELIVER For example, if a customer asks if their area is covered, always say yes. If the area is not serviced, be very vague about their options and sign them up for your most expensive plan anyways! New homeowner selling house because he can't get Comcast Internet "I accidentally bought a house without cable," writes man who works at home. by Jon Brodkin - Mar 26, 2015 1:30pm GMT A Share y xfinity | COMCAST STEP8 FRUSTRATION IS YOUR BEST WEAPON Is your customer still on the line even after you have argued with them for 15 minutes about what THEY want? These customers exist and should be handled by placing them on an extended hold and asking them for their information multiple times! Frustrate them until they hang up! CALM CONFUSED IRRITATED ALMOST THERE PERFECT

The Unofficial Comcast Customer Care Guide

shared by victorlomas49d on Apr 09
A sarcastic take on Comcast's Exceptional Customer Service Guide


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