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Transcribed

Space Traveler Guide

ht s ootoessarrer anonA c tar s a ew e enee ron o t o rto e DO YOU FIND YOURSELF ASKING: CONSIDER THIS RATE YOURSELF ON THE FOLLONG SPACE ATIBUTES IF SPACE WERE A PERSON, WHAT TYPE OF PERSON MIGHT SPACE BE? RATING WILL I MAKE A GOOD SPACE TRAVELER? O slent and inmdating O Mysterious and starryeyed Ogard du CONSIDERING THE STAGGERING SIZE or SPACE, HOW DO YOU FEEL O Cnergired and optimistie THIS INCREDIBLY HANDY AID WILL HELP YOU DECIDE O Ourious yet nencomma CRITERIA TO CONSIDER WHAT WOULD YOU DO? ZERO-GRAVITY WOES O Duny www As you attempt to lift off, your spacecraft suddenly malfunctions and veers off course, sending you straight towards jagged rock formations. You seize the controls and: DO DARK, ENDLESS VOIDS BOTHER YOU? O Not in the sgest WHEN FACING OBSTACLES, YOU O Grab the but by the hems O Petend to be sleeping O Only when being puled into one O vers very much O sennt y O Use stabilirers to the problem LeThe een HOW OFTEN DO YOU FREE-FALL? O Soream e tarshee O H the eject buton WERE YOU VALIANT TODAY? O Five, mayte s timesaweek O ves l day long aeon nd Po O Only on special occasions O for a short time. just aner lunch O vow to change your ways ABVENIUNE AWAITSO O Aimost never Not at al O Let tate decide SHARP AS EAGLE BEAIS TRUE GUNT UNDREARABLE CLEAN NOE CLAMMY GLINT IN EYE HEROIC HEART STEADY HAND YOUR BASIC SPACECRAFT PLEASE NOTE: CAN YOU HANDLE A STUN DEVICE? ARE YOU ACCUSTOMED TO ZERO GRAVITY? O Ue notedy's business O Lea duch towater FYOU LACK HE O Orefer nat toe When the mood stes me O Depends en the contents of my stomach TRAITS SHOWN O Findensely unpleasant ABOVE, HOU MAY HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR HOW IS YOUR PEACEMAKING? O Charming and pihy DO YOU SPEAK INTERGALACTIC? OBuref course IT WITH PERSONAITe ONA SCALE OF 1 TO 10. GAUGE VOUR PERSONALITY O Noticeatly lacluster DA sure wey of casing strte A tle, at parties O weuldt know it from Swahi AN UNSOLICITED SERVICE OF QUESTIONS & ANSWERS CAN YOU FIND THE CRASHED SPACECRAFT? IN CONCLUSION FELLOW TRALERS IN NEO OEP ARE OFTEN DICT 0rat WHAT S THE LIKELIHO00 0 IS FASHION IMPOaTANT oF ENCOUNTERING HOSTILE BEINGS IN SPACE IN SPACE THIS INCREDIBLY HANDY AID HAS ATTEMPTED TO BE USEFUL, PLEASE KEEP IN IND THAT SPNCE TRAVEL REQUIRES CAUTmON AND A PHLOsOPHICAL OUTLOoOK. THIS SPACE TRAVEL A VES. SPACE TRAELERS WHO FEEL GOOD Aout A MUCH LESS THAN THE LIREIHOOD OF GETTING LOST IN THE LAINTS OF UNCHARTERED GALAKIES. AID CAN ALSO BE USED AS A PLACE MAT FOR THEIR APPEARANCE MARE SHARPER DECISIONS ZERO GRAVITY ITALIAN DINNERS Space travel is all we de! SKILL SET SPECIAL TRAITS COURAGE

Space Traveler Guide

shared by TimothySanders on Sep 11
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I wrote and designed this humorous fictional guide for Seattle 826's Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co., a novelty store that is part of the 826 organization founded by McSweeney's originator Dave Egge...

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