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The Modern Man's Guide to Valentine's Day

The MODERN MAN'S GUIDE Valentine's Day Valentine 's Day can be scary time to be a man - what's expected? What's not expected? What will win her heart and what 'll put you on the last train home, sofily weeping into kebab? your But never feur Jacamo's here to take the mystery out of Valentine 's day with a few tips and tricks: VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS CHOCOLATES & roses A SCRAPBOOK OF your life together Might be a bit creepy on a first date. though. Try to avoid the value range chocs.A bor of broken biscuils is not an acceptable substitute. A ROMANTIC takeaway Take a few moments to cut the pizza into heart shape, and enjoy with a romantic film. HIRE A skuwriter You ve seen il in the movies, now bring it into your life! A classic move that always wins boyfriend points. LEARN TO KNIT Emake her a scarf A ROMANTIC weekend away Worth it for the surprise factor alone just make Maybe to the place you first met, or the place she 's abways wanted to go. sure you ve got a private place to hone your skills. BUY A PIECE OF MOON ROCK This opens you up for al kinds of eheesy lines like your love lasting for light years. THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT Valentine's Day & Loe SOUTH Korea JULIET In South Korea, lovelorn men who didn't receive any gifls or cards on Valentine's Day get together to eat black noodles. Presumabty served in a sauce their own tears. She may have been dead for over 500 years and fictional to boot, but Shakespeare's Juliet receives around 1.000 Valentines every year. posted to her home town of Verona in Italy. Cet POETIC ydea da Ihe oldest known love poem is a racy Sumerian verse written on a clay tablet around 2030 BC. In it, the author promises that her mother will make dessert for her lover if he goes to bed with her. Some of it might have got lost in translation. WEARING YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE 1,000,000,000 Around a billion Valentine's Day cards are given and received each year. Although nine-tenths of these Chff Richard, who has to hire a bulldozer every February 14th just to get out of his house. In the Middle Ages, men and go to women drew names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine, and wore the names pinned on their sleeves for a week: giving rise to the phrase Wearing your heart on your sleeve". rosemary MAKE YOUR OWN Valentine's Day Poem Personalise this romantic composition, shamelessby cribbed from Shakespeare, additions. with your own Shall I compare thee to a Thou art more .? and more Rough minda do And summer' s lease hath the. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his. And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature's But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st, Nor shall death. When. So long So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. as men can breathe, or eyes can see, PERFECT VALENTINE'S DAY A FILMS (and what to pretend you re watching while you're watching them) Eueryone loves a good obligatory romantic Valentine's Day film, just match another movie in your head, lke so: rom-com, unless of course you're male. If you mant to surine the GHOST- Chostbusters LOVE ACTUALLY = TAKEN If you can picture Patrick Swayze as Simer and Demi Moore as Dan Aykroyd, you 're halfway there. This shouldn't be too hard as liam Neeson's already in it. Colin Firth can fill in for sex-traffiching kingpin Patrice Saint-Clair if you aquint a bit. HITCH = Men in Black Neting Hil NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS, BUT STICK WITH IT-AND IF ALL ELSE FRILS JUST PRETEND YOU'RE BEING MEMORY-WIPED WITH A NEURALYSER. FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF. = LOCK, STÖCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS. Titanic= UNDER SIEGE %3D Instead of a charming independent bookshop. imagine Hugh Grant runs a towering drug empire. and instead of Rhys Ifans. imagine Rob Brydon. Turn James Cameron's epic anoorefest into an action-pached Steven Seagal film mith a little imagination. APHRODISIAC 1 foods Cunningly offer to cook a romantic meal consisting of these passion inducing ingredients the more, the better. If you don 't both throw up first, you re in for a great night. ASPARAGUS AVACADO BANANAS BASIL CHOCOLATE FIGS GARLIC OYSTERS HONEY

The Modern Man's Guide to Valentine's Day

shared by gorramscott on Feb 08
For many a man, Valentines Day can be an awkward day when a heck of a lot can go wrong. Luckily Jacamo have put together a handy and humorous guide to wooing your partner the right way.


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