The Global Sharknado Threat

The Global Sharknado Threat

a rigorous analysis of geographies at significant aerial-shark-deposition risk

It has been known to science for some time that landfall hurricanes span rogue tornadoes in coastal and near-coastal areas. New to science, however, and of pressing concern to residents of these areas, is the punctuated updraft force capable of lifting aquatic species, particularly predatory members of the Chordata phylum, to sufficient altitudes and velocities such that inland incursion becomes inevitable.

This map is the heroic result of thousands of hours of tedious research from a compendium of scientific teams specializing in areas of oceanography, climatology, marine biology and ballistics, and represents mankind�۪s best attempt to understand this deadly phenomenon.

Coastal Habitats- Cacharodon cardharias- the ���great white shark�۝

Sphyrnidae family- the ���hammerheads�۝

Seed Hurricane Paths of sufficient energy to spawn shark-bearing tornadoes

Category 3 Category 4 Category 5

Coastal areas of the Philippines and Taiwan face an existential risk of sharknado occurrence ���particularly that of the hammerhead variety, whose aerodynamic properties facilitate sustained glide-times and therefore deeper violent inland penetration.

Incidents along Australia�۪s northwest coast are relatively rare, considering the ideal combination of habitat and climatic factors. Sociologists note that there is a strong negative correlation between local chainsaw sales and sustained incursions. Care must be taken, however, in implying a causal link, though support among the scientific community is growing around this line of inquiry.

Southern California neighbors shark-infested waters, though tornadoes of sufficient shark=projectile potential are exceedingly rare. A dramatic exception was recently documented by film crews at tremendous personal peril.

A combination of risk factors along the Easter Seaboard of the United States puts that area at imminent risk of sharknado events.

Potential staging areas of sharks involved in the manipulation of violent atmospheric energies. Collusion suspected but unverified. One theory holds that hordes of sharks working in tandem can swim in a rotational pattern preventing cool water upwelling and generate a sustained oceanic vortex- conditions ideal for spawning storms of great energy.

The waters around South Africa are teeming with sharks through, to date, there are no documented incidents of airborne attack. Steep coastal cliffs appear to rebuff advances.

The island of Madagascar is a common target of sharknado events. It is speculated that the plentiful forest lemur population is a popular seasonal attraction for feeing sharks.

The Global Sharknado Threat

shared by Anonymous (not verified) on Jul 22, 2013 in Humor


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It has been known to science for some time that landfall hurricanes spawn rogue tornados in costal and near-costal areas. New to science, however, and of pressing concern to residents of these areas, ...
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John Nelson
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