Gene Simmons

GENESIMMONS:A(BAFFLINGLY) SUCCESSFUL LIFE Vo AVERAGE MIDDLE-AGED MAN GENE SIMMONS MUSICAL TALENT None Close to none Outcome: Embarrasses kids Outcome: Spearheads one of the when their friends come over most successful rock bands of all time SEX APPEAL Looks like a sad pedophile Looks like aci pedophile তও s Outcome: Hot babysitter creeped out by really long hugs goodbye Outcome: Has sex with nearly 4,000 bikini models every year EVERYDAY LIFE Not interesting enough to warrant a reality TV show Not interesting enough to warrant a reality TV show Licensing worth its weight in gold. e GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS. -3-91 Outcome: Gets "case of the Outcome: Gets one anways Mondays" every day of the week IN THE END Wanted to lead sinful life of sex Led sinful life of sex, but went to church instead partying, and rock n' roll Outcome: Dies of painful heart attack at age 63 while unclogging the toilet Outcome: Dies peacefully in sleep at age 82 after massive spring break orgy