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Eastwick Un-Demystifies the Cloud

E ASTWI CK UN-DEMYSTIFIES THE CLOUD On-Prem Graveyard Cloud Self Storage Cloud Mall Cloud MALL HSDS: High-Speed Download System The WC: Weather Control Center Non-Cleantech Firewall Power Center Security TRAN Encryption Receiving Dock Decryption Ejection Line Clo XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX л Key XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Vault %3D • MOVE TO TH Cloud Cloud computing gotcha in a fog? You're not alone. NOW LEASING! 10100 Cloud Lane Most Americans are too busy sharing photos on their mobile, collaborating on Google Docs, or updating a Facebook status to understand cloud computing - let alone use it. But the cloud shouldn't leave you in the dark. Using Eastwick's industry-acclaimed patent pending NOOB (Neo-Organizational Optimization Brainstorm") technique, we've peeled back the fluffy layers and revealed Device-Bound what clouds REALLY do to bring the Internet to today's Data devices, optimizing productivity and elevating the Cumulous Quotient that powers innovation, business valuation, and other stuff that keeps our Plug-Free Mobility global economy strong. Neo-Organizational Optimization Brainstorm™ (patent pending) Seven years in the making, NOOB aggregates social collaboration platforms, neural networks, Big Data analytics, sentiment tools, and virtual payment systems to reveal the enigmatic logistics and inner workings of the cloud: FIREWALL ENTRANCE Data is protected by a "wall of fire" guarding the most valuable CLOUD SELF STORAGE The cloud's step-by-step loading dock make it the most convenient stored information way to store and organize files [email protected]#$% & ^%*$! [email protected]#!% SERVERS The best servers from top culinary institutes from all over the globe - five star ratings ENCRYPTION RECEIVING DOCK Accepts information and uses the most advanced cryptographic algorithms to encode data KEY VAULT CLOUD MALL Securely locks encryption keys away, separating them from data to ensure zero infiltration Cloud MALL Largest selection of products - health care items, kitchen knives, diet pills, and more - delivered worldwide DATA CENTER GRAVEYARD A devoted place of mourning, noon or night, for outdated technology THE WEATHER CONTROL CENTER Latest meteorologist mechanics protect the cloud from stormy weather for optimal performance RIP Data Center NON-CLEANTECH POWER CENTER DECRYPTION EJECTION LINE Hamster-generated energy with a 92.48% outage-free record and 100% biodegradable emissions Unpacks and inspects parcels to ensure high-quality, un-coded information HIGH-SPEED DOWNLOAD SYSTEM PLUG-FREE MOBILITY The most up-to-date delivery system provides information in record-breaking speed State of the art plug-free technology allows storing and accessing information from anywhere PARACHUTOMETER NOW LEASING NOW LEASING! Seamlessly integrated delivery vehicles time-optimize device- bound data descent Cloud migration trends and rapid expansion rates make The Cloud the newest data hotspot EASTWICK NEED TO DEMYSTIFY YOUR STORY? LET EASTWICK SHOW YOU HOW. www.EASTWICK.COM

Eastwick Un-Demystifies the Cloud

shared by eastwick on Mar 30
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Cloud computing leave you in a fog? You're not alone. Most Americans are too busy sharing photos on their mobile, collaborating on Google Docs, or updating their Facebook status to figure out cloud co...

Publisher

Eastwick

Designer

mariomejia

Category

Humor
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