Should a Polar Bear Replace the Beaver as Canada’s National Emblem?

ΒEASTLΥΒΑΤΤLEFORAMΑΤION The beaver, our national emblem since 1975, is being challenged. Senator Nicole Eaton has put forth the idea that the polar bear is a more deserving representative of Canada. Leaving our country – in the form of Steve Murray - to wonder: Which is better? Beaver or bear? Also: Why do senators not yet have term limits? BEAVER POLAR BEAR - Creates dams as protection against predators, who can easily circumnavigate them like terrorists driving into Canada. SYMBOLISM. - Can murder you. - But! Can also murder your enemies. - Only on the nickel while the polar bear is seen on the toonie, making it worth 40 beavers. - Already represents Coca-Cola, so may be out of Canada's price range. - Slaps its tail to create a loud sound, warning other beavers of danger, like a socialist. - Lives in icy, snowy conditions. Ideal as a representative for Canada since we don't get enough ice and snow jokes. - Is a rodent. Which, when you think about it, is kind of gross. Sorry, chinchilla owners! Name not linked to human genitalia, or any kind of weird sex thing. That we know of. At press time. - Can fell trees with its teeth, taking jobs away from hardworking Canadian loggers. Possibly undercover mascot for NAFTA? - Wait, I just remembered one. Ew. [email protected]