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FREEZE or FLEE: A Survival Guide for Dangerous Animal Encounters

hellawella's Freeze or Flee: A SURVIVAL GUIDE For Dangerous Animal Encounters Watdy L Coley TABLE of CONTENTS * DANGER LEVELS Written ly laclyn Bertner, Gail Hoffer, lennifer Moscrop, Darnen Ursino and Melissa Valliant BEAR WOLF 3 COUGAR 4 COYOTE RABID RACCOON SHARK CROCODILE PIRANHA JELLYFISH 10 RATTLESNAKE SCORPION 12 KILLER BEES 13 LION 14 HIPPO 15 ELEPHANT 16 GORILLA 17 BEAR DANGER LEVEL 2.5 IF IT DOESN'T SEE YOU Wae waka waka your lucky hide to sty IF APPROACHED Change underpants at fint ogportunity DO NOT KUN. The fastest man un Earth carmt outrun a beat contat. Ys, this takes some serious eng Grialy Adame willpower Delinitely do not scea Instead, speak sottly in a manore ve (a prayer a hupps-time campli sinea long and wave your arms gemth. This sells the br you are a human, and a weind, mumblng, waving eme at that IF ATTACKED No pottine anvund it. This is going ba be urpleant. Tim xxplas dad, Curl up into a lull on veur sde or le derwn PREVENTION Fepper spra, that A simple bare nssity can e uned within 20 feet. Just doet kve it in the pieaic baket when you go your ther o berry picking WOLF IF IT DOESN'T SEE YOU No, you cannot train the welf to be your diostetrountact. White welf omadesan very ram, the Conis lunus conis eatu The spedes is definltely net vour fnd, andotaiel phine like vrur pumnend noochat hame eym he all dur the arau, alwashirine TRSiest-itsbead Chihuahua n ibe wf blendine JE APPROACHER inchaded fight. Make and intimidating, but Hoist semethine geer vour head somake vourelf DANGER LEVEL IF ATTACKED Impmvie a weapan-cks, HW sticks, camp gear-and go for p the animal's nose. Remain upright and protect your fece nd threet. I bitten under a full PREVENTION Cag Keep a cean camp. N making e al fond and moon, be pneparod to inve heavily in wandrobe replacements or the rest of vour life Andans items ae well aked. Leee the Chibuahue at heme Ch, and rever never, rever crY well, We all know what happened to th lle bnit. 46ЛИ COUGAR IF IT DOESM'T SEE YOU talking abeul the ee net a le 4sh party ilus nd Botos, fvou anl felne wildeat in the wikl, ora cofentaiee, but they do want to know what they ane dealing with Back away sloly IF APPROACHED DANGER Sunt p. Mate epeak in LEVEL up a stoen. Th r tum your back or crcuch down IF ATTACKED Caight Esoept this riulatanding rale deht with unsthind hae PREVENTION COYOTE IF APPROACHED Coss an curkeus ETutures, ard untke wuhes, they an known to stalk anengin metropeli tan a Many surtan pet uwnen hae had the unfurtunute experi ene of findingamanglod bull of fur in their vards el their cats or puples used e oum fredy. Ifa ceyote directs is curiosity at vos, at agivets Be noisy and throw things. Ignore youe instint to tuns and ne, Make younell appar larget wly badk away and DANGER LEVEL IF IT HAKES CONTACT So the oriter want to denget Gt all Coyote Ligly on the thingt Kick, ph. punch, eipe protect your dome piecr-jat like a bad mght cut at the nedhouse, onle without PREVENTION foal news Cyotes tend to nun rather than igh lad new hen buma leed thm, ther t ne le eartul Takuga Dkrt Foed. Coyutes RABID RACCOON DANGER LEVEL 0.5 HOW TO IDENTIFY ONE recoon ematically sportng metted hain screaming at a pieno ng high pitch and Ithing at the mouth -na it hasn't been pertying with Keah Rihands a has rabs Walk in the opposite dinction and call vo local wildlie control or vetennanan ASAP t trated TRASH PREVENTION camags Keep dours clod arad chimneys blocked ot. Ard t your pN SHARK DANGER LEVEL 4 IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN INFESTED WATERS the reanst beach ber and firt with the IF APPROACHED nsad Put on your best Robert Shanw impression and regale the crowd with your story-you went hawe to pay Avoid splashing about C and making panicked novements la we kanow) Try to play dead by bobbing in the water. Sharks are ko lkly to go aer a dead tange (where's the fun in that?, but that don't mean IF ATTACKCED Pretend you're Michael Phelps and outswin the suckert Now sealie that veu age dead byause e utsrims ashark, dumbass Show that shark suutge no chumipi by finding a nearby blunt ct (surtband andO. tanks an e cialy handy) and swhacking it in the nose and ev. Liet yuurwll eul of pen water, preferably o where you can back sp agan womething and stick wah slot dinst js you put up erughofa isht, it soukd deemine you'e ot worth. the sffost. PREVENTION Sary out of murky water, swim en bright cae days and avoid wuring beah colons and shiny jewelry that orukd make it easy to be mistaken for bait. And while it may seen like an oki wives take periods do attract sharks fas does blkoeding of any kindh so it's "that time of the month" or you have a bad cut, best stay ont of the waler CROCODILE DANGER LEVEL IF ATTACKED cros do their killng, so high-tail it ceto lard or afightirg advantage. Th old myth says to run in a aiga yulten snce the croc allegedly can't meke sharp turm. The truth is, crocs usally hunt by anbushing their pres and they rarely give chase it does comes to bilows, how- ever, attack the eyes and nose and be sure to rell in the same dinection as the croe if it starts miling and thrashing IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN INFESTED WATERS PREVENTION Remember thai Seve Inwin (RIP) wan a jerky movements atract the pues toric reptil. Swim (preferably underwater) straght for the shore using the beastatnke far minimal splashing a bit of a lunatic you cant it the urge to take a dip in knewn eoe territery, at last avd backseaters and inlets where they ane more likely bo be lying in wait. PIRANHA DANGER LEVEL 1.5 IF APPROACHED Cat out of the wwe and h IF ATTACKED you might loe a te ce twe, hut you wwunw Contriry war ine hae you ea daml pt a prinn c a human g They de sek prny gnarly though. Well give them that. PREVENTION B ahing about and making a dinner bell enember nirenb cn attac ut of valer, sa nay tien if u'ne tshing or these tus (Altheh, might we he salmon inte JELLYFISH DANGER LEVEL IF YOU SEE ONE এ ।। jellsti tide (unds ke some pmple we kaw One enception is the Box jell They have a beain and can move fent, o try to stay away from beaches known to heuse these The osicity of the venom may hurt your ability to swim ocall for help and move towand the shore. Ad nbing the wound as this ould e more venom into your body tire with salt water (NOT fresh water, and neutraline the venen by uning vinegar. Baking seda ard meat tenderiar have abo ben PREVENTION said to work. Dopie the myths, uri really ist am effective selutin, so unkeis wu have a wcind pee tish Wioie a ratennl lotion that X. just be semar and cary lotions meant to cure jellyfish stings 10 RATTLESNAKE DANGER LEVEL 1.5 IF YOU HEAR A RATTLE You bet your as it'sa ruttleenakar. There'sa |an why Indiana Jumes is afrail of snakas: They ite, and seme are venomous. Rattlesnakes use their rattks w annune thir presence and wan that they may be IF YOU SEE ONE or it WILL cme at you While they don't have ear about to strike they can easily feel the They ane ually shy ereatues but if thnonmed they will bite you. PREVENTION Lewe the Birkerstocks at heme. hippy! Always wear surdy toots when Nking in the great oundoon. Stay on dear trals and scan the an in tront of you Use caution when placing your hands or feet atop or among ks and cevken SCORPION DANGER LEVEL IF YOU ENCOUNTER ONE Vie shouldethave to remind yeu to NOT touch a scorpion. Not only do they look lke thes crawled out from the pits of hell, but their singers alko contain a painful and jer lethal pien that ca will attack you or anything IF STUNG Most scorpion stings in the United Sutes cause only minor signs and symptoms, such as pain and wanmth at O the sting site. However it yeu are sung by a bark soorpion-native to Arkoona New Mesioo and the Calitomia side of the Colorado River-It can be afe-threatening particularly in children and the elderly. Get a bark scorpion sting checked out imediately and call a pokom control anter It yeu esperienae such symptoms as trothing at the muth, cmvulsiara, musde twitching, seven pain and elling, tll your frkerds to stap laughing, put down the camama and got yeu madical amtion immdiatuts KILLER BEES DANGER LEVEL IF YOU ENCOUNTER A SWARM OF ANGRY BEES Duck, cover and head for the 2 hils Thend's a good chance A that they are killer bees- and S they ane phoet Killer bes are very apresdve, t eamen- tal, conily prwoked and fienly proxtive of emitele upo half a mile from their rnts. Want another fun fact Killer yen altack in wwarma. Houray IF ATTACKED Run like you're being, well chad by killet been fast and ler. The US Department of Agriculture recotremends puiling yeur shirt over your head to pruteci your lae as sou nur for shelter. No kidding Just make sun not to run right into oncoming wallic or between two guys holding a sheet of zlas. If vou have been stung more than 15 times, are leeling sick or if vou are allergic to bee stings, seek medical attention immedly. The average pern can afely tolerate 10stings per pound of body weight. This mears ihat althenh 0 ting can kill chik, the average adut ould wah- and mere then 1300 stings HOW TO REMOVE STINGERS Do at u teenen ur your fingen. This will cmly saqua mone vnom intu the wund The LSDA nonmend scriping the inger out sickeways using a fingemail the edge of a cedit cand, a dul kniie blade or other straight edgod object. 13 LION DANGER LEVEL 4 IF IT DOESNT SEE YOU Alio Forget hakuna manata. Yn should wory. This is not a y cute, estra-leree kitty. doess't do perting, and it ise't your wise old helper triend fom Namia DO NOT APPROACHIT IF APPROACHED e ncaimperice kout Leudooises, move nd vill bn ta intmadate the ion De noe nun tons think childdeen ta better. Net nulty but they see them as canter tang o cary aay) PREVENTION Hensa gred nanon to wop polluting Sme IF ATTACHED Fight for your O Ife. Der't mll ie a bail or Nbrit. Find that ilhe number cé lien attecks in the will is incrosing lecause as lemam oncoech int the wild they keave food and ncs and trash on the traik, end liens attack it Ning it in the head ith sticks odks on your own teo hands, or throw sand in its ey Prext your had and neck an much on poble discower they love people food. Here's the assodation they make Yummy lehoe finirkers people- food Don't hike alone, and make sune to malke nole in reder to sc the lions mey HIPPO DANGER IE IT DOESN'T SEE Yrou posibe, whether you're careing or walking. IF APPROACHED Run and de. If you tand there creaming ike an dict, il will run you down betere you can ay hurgry. hunary hipp Find a tae to hide behind or dlin 4. IF ATTACKED Repent for all your sins and hope thene's a heaeen PREVENTION the hippo plenty uf avoid thickats where hipp might be camceaked. Listan fur copeckar cals, a waming sign thut ta may be a hippo aound. Definitely figure out aloal of time what dehell an pedar is and what it sounls like. Awoid those weird boulden in the water 15 ELEPHANT IF APPROACHED Check out sears. If thes're poking ot, Durbo prohily jt soring y with a mork change so move f its cars ane back, parie Climb a tre theme's ore rearhy. And make sur it's a strong one or the elophant will kneckn down like in ras Charlie Enon's Chrstmas te. Throw something ele er the elephant to attack- prierbly net yer spome ur sgnificint othr Ak yeunele Can I run mere than 35 miks per hur" the anwer's na den't nun DANGER LEVEL IF ATTACHED PREVENTION jumping Den't le ina fetal poitin sou will de yea're feelng desperote land you should at this pointi, try sratting the tusks to try to kreae your- wit cut of the way and aveld being staed f you'e lucky the elephart will pt tks ck in the ground momen tarily and yo om nen or ile con back stage at circuses and you ignoe thes advice, end up in Africe and enoter an elephant, stay in yur vehide an auponbe 16 GORILLA DANGER LEVEL IF IT DOESN'T SEE YOU Your call, Goellas chanes obrving them. IH your amygdala gets the best of yo and you choene to rn, try to sneak anay as puietly as you wouk you were 14 again anl croeping out of the house in the middle of the nichn Gorifla IF APPROACHED If you'n net hearing and perception dosely FUE Otact ond don't nun. They canches v, vouredds anen't so ontimitie An ndul eudli wener besty stvngth inabout sis mes mum peweful thun th PREVEMTIем 2 tander ine the 17 ALIEN DANGER LEVEL IF YOU WAKE UPI IN A FIELRRE UP NARED LUMIMESEENT ELIM IN WITH NO HEMORY OF THE LAST SEVERAL DAYS AND A BURNING I T HEMOR THAT Congratulations Vu have been abducted -and poobed. Wiekme to your new afe uf heerifving Bashbaks, tutal human detachmant, wvee akuholim and nistady empleyment en th lalk-shaw cint IF YOU SEE AN ALIEN (AND ARE NOT ALREADY PARALYZED BY REMOTE- ACCESS MIND CONTROL OR CENTRIFUGAL LEVITATION) Dance, becane why neti If danae is the intertellar langue tond ho says i ise, do a littke ig and end it with one of those heel cicking forihes Offier marhallows, Suepst a friendly aem wresting contest Gf has ame and et the alen win. Ask to see pictues of s tanily and le about how cune is chilMaen an WHAT NOT TO DO finger slute. This ta patronie- int. You'll fune much butter with a cockune "hang kome and a mildly suggestive wink 18 SOURCES BEAR s2 P'ES Nature, WOLF p. imatewolthuntingcm, coUGAR p Natunikalls COYOTE p. Delenders of Wiklike, Widcome Widlie ABID RACCOON ASICA, ServioaMagie SHARK s CROCODILE pr 8 PIRANHA pe Practiothehkeymine or, IELLYFISH pe. 10 ellyfishtacts net, RATTLESNAKE . I1 Alongtheway.ceg. Califoenia Poisen Control Syste SCORPION 12 Maye Clinic, KILLER BEES pe. 13 United State Dpanment ef Agricultune LION Ps, 14, HIPPO De 15 ELEPHANT pe. 16 Mongallav com Guandian cu GORILLA pg 17 teuters c

FREEZE or FLEE: A Survival Guide for Dangerous Animal Encounters

shared by HellaWella on Jul 23
Shhh … Did you hear that? I think something’s moving in the bushes. Hear it? Oh God, it’s coming toward us … Ah, wilderness. Nothing beats getting off the grid for a while for a good hike o...




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