24 Funniest Ways to Die

24 FUNNIEST TE DIE WAYS TO WARN ING! ADULT THEMES AND STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT TOP 10 FUNNIEST DEATHS ARDUND THE WORLD DEATH BY DROWNING AT A LIFEGUARDS PARTY DEATH BY BESTIALITY DEATH BY JURY DEMONSTRATION An American, Kenneth Pinyan, who worked as a Boeing aircraft engineer In 1985, to commemorate their first fatality-free season ever, the lifeguards of the New Orleans recre- ation department decided to throw themselves a party. The morning after the party, staffed by 4 lifeguards and attended by 100 more, 31-year old Jerome Moody was discovered drowned at the bottom of the pool. In an attempt to demonstrate his theory that the victim accidentally shot himself instead of his client, lawyer Clement Vallandigham proved the accident beyond reasonable doubt by reenacting the incident in front of the jury. Unfortunately, he had grabbed a loaded gun by mistake and died on the should have known to do his calcula- tions before receiving anal sex from a stallion in a July 2005 sex romp, videotaped by a friend, resulting in a perforated colon and later death. courtroom floor. DEATH BY PLANKING DEATH BY LAVA LAMP DEATH BY COCK Planking is a craze that shouldn't be taken lying down, as one drunk 20-year old Brisbane man, Acton Beale, recently discovered after trying to stretch himself out on the railing of his seventh floor apartment balcony. Just before his big planking moment he lost his footing A twenty-four year old trailer park resident was found dead in the bedroom of his mobile home, the Attending as a spectator, Jose Luis Ochoa didn't expect to be involved in a cockfight, let alone die burnt remains of a lava lamp scattered across his kitchen. This 100% sober, yet impatient, young man had decided to accelerate the wonder of his from the injuries inflicted by the knife strapped to a cock's limb. His leg was sliced open by the rooster and he was taken to hospital but doctors were unable to stop the bleeding, he later died and fell seven floors to his death. He is Australia's most lava lamp on the stove, unfortunately forget- ting that heat causes expansion. As the lava expanded, the lamp exploded and lodged a shard of glass in his chest, killing him. famous planker but unfortunately not for the originally anticipated reason. from the wrath of the cock. 05c DEATH BY SEGWAY DEATH BY OWN INVENTION DEATH FROM STUBBING ONE S TOE DEATH ON STAGE, WHILE TELLING A JOKE Jimi Heselden, owner of the Segway motorized scooter company, died after he drove a segway off a cliff on his own estate and drowned in Giving new meaning to the term 'dead tired' an inventor Thomas Midgley Jr accidentally strangled himself with the cord of the pulley operated mechanical bed of his own design. Whiskey distiller Jack Daniel came to work early in 1911, kicked his safe in frustration after forgetting the combi- nation and died of the resulting infec- tion, perhaps he should have just "kept walking' like Johnnie. Dick Shawn was a comedian ridiculing a politician's campaign clichés ending with "I will not lay down on the job", he laid down on stage face down and never got up again. At first, the audience thought it was part of the act, until some time later a theater employee checked him for a pulse and realized he was indeed lying down on the job for good. the river below. 10 C 1000 DIE | WAYS TO TITTY TITTY BANG BANG (A.K.A. DOUBLE D-DAY) SPIKE TOP 7 JUNE 6, 2006 SAN DIEGO, CA Breast implants are sure to get you noticed, especially when they are filled with water containing dissolved oxygen instead of silicone and explode as the atmo- spheric pressure changes on a plane, as this wannabe stripper suddenly discovers mid-flight when her breasts rupture, killing her- titty titty, bang bang. WATER LOGGED AUGUST 12, 2007 THE RESERVOIR NEW RIVER, AZ A college daredevil gets the bum's rush after jumping from a cliff into a lake at such an angle & speed that causes the water to rush into his rectum rupturing his large intestine and causing massive internal bleeding. He eventually passes out and drowns. KILL BASA AUGUST 16, 1996 THE BRIG DISCO NEW DRLEANS, LA Having a big package can be a lot of pressure especially if your package is a 12 inch kielbasa sausage strapped to your leg with surgical tubing which eventually clogs an artery, leading to a blood clot and eventual death. WORK OF FART (A.K.A FARTED OUT) DOMIN-A-DEAD (A.KA. RUBBERED OUT) MARCH 5, 2005 BOSTON, MA In preparation for a fraternity farting contest, a college student hires a flatu- lence trainer well known for his uncon- FEBRUARY 27, 200O6 THE KITTY PATCH, TONOPAH, NV A 32-year-old virgin looking to have sex with a prostitute dies in a latex suit at the end of a dominatrix's whip. He's gagged and bound so tight the hooker is unable to understand his cries for help. He dies of a severe allergy to latex. ventional methods. The trainer applies a blowtorch to the students' buttocks only to be killed by fart fire. НEART ON BUTT PLUGGED OCTOBER 19, 2005 HILLENDALE RANCH TODELE COUNTY, UT (A.K.A. PLUGGED UP) NOVEMBER 9, 2002 IMPERIAL HIGHWAY EL SEGUNDO, CA Looking for a thrill, a mentally unstable man hooks a cow's heart he bought from a slaughterhouse up to a 110-volt wall socket A recently released criminal drunk driving with a hooker in the front seat shoves a can of pepper spray into his rectum to avoid being returned to jail for parole violation by a cop who pulls him over. When the cop throws the con against the truck for talking back the can activates, soaking his colon with pepper spray, eating the flesh away and killing him slowly. to use as a sex toy only to get the final shock of his life. 7 FAMOUS DEATHS BY LAUGHTER THE GOODIES 4 1975: Alex Mitchell, a 50-year- old from Norfolk, England, died laughing while watching The Goodies. A particular scene had caused Mitchell to laugh nonstop for twenty-five minutes before 207 BC: Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of In 1989, a Danish audiologist, Ole Bentzen, died laughing while laughter after giving his donkey wine then seeing it attempt to eat figs. watching A Fish Called Wanda. His dying of heart failure. heart was estimated to have beaten at between 250 and 500 1660: Thomas Urquhart, beats per minute, before he succumbed to cardiac arrest. Scottish aristocrat, Mrs Fitzherbert of England went to Drury polymath and first trans- Lane Theatre in April 1782 to see The lator of Rabelais into English, is said to have died laughing upon hear- Beggar's Opera. When the popular actor Mr Bannister made his first appearance, dressed as the character 'Polly', the entire ing that Charles II had audience burst into laughter. Mrs Fitzher- taken the throne. bert, unable to control herself was forced to leave the theatre before the end of the show. As the Gentleman's Magazine reported the following week: `Not being able to banish the figure from her memory, In 2003, Damnoen Saen-um, a Thai ice cream salesman, is reported to have died while laughing in his sleep at the age of 52. 1410: Martin I of Aragon died from a lethal combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughing. His wife was unable to wake him, and he stopped breathing after she was thrown into hysterics, which two minutes of continuous laughter. He is believed to have died of either heart failure or asphyxiation. continued without intermission until she expired on Friday morning." ACCIDENTAL DEATHS IN AUSTRALIA THE BABY BOOMER GENERATION GENERATION Y GENERATION Z GENERATION X 19-30 УЕАRS 31-45 YEARS is the most dangerous on our roads with the highest incidence of road deaths 0-18 YEARS 46-64 УЕARS is most prone to drowning is most likely to suffer from accidental poisoning is most at risk from choking deaths and falls PUTTING DEATH IN With some of the highest numbers of deadly spiders, snakes and crocodiles in the world PERSPECTIVE IN Australia might be considered the most dangerous place on Earth to live. Unfortunately, AUSTRALIA man has taken life into his own hands which makes it more deadly than all the dangerous wildlife combined You are more likely to die from a wasp or bee sting than a spider or snake bite Number of deaths in 2009 Number of deaths in 2009 venomous snakes and lizards Y venomous spiders O deaths You are more likely to fall from a ladder and die than to get eaten by a crocodile. Number of deaths in 2009 Number of deaths in 2009 You are also more likely to fall out of bed and die than get shot. Number of deaths in 2009 Number of deaths in 2009 You are more likely going to get hit by a bus or truck and die than struck by lightning Number of deaths in 2009 Number of deaths in 2009 *O_URRY You are more likely to die choking on your food than getting eaten by a shark Number of deaths in 2009 Number of deaths in 2009 O deaths SOURCES http://www.neatorama.com/2007/03/12/30-strangest-deaths-in-history/ PRODUCED BY LifelnsuranceFinder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin Awards http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_inventors_killed_by_their_own_inventions http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_from_laughter http://www.darwinawards.com/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of 1000 Ways_to_Die_episodes http://www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die http://www.couriermail.com.au/lifestyle/forty-is-the-year-of-living-dangerously-suncorp-life-study-finds/story-e6frer4f-1225982900765 http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/[email protected]/DetailsPage/3303.02009?0penDocument http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/fish/sharks/statistics/statsw.htm