Weird Inventions You Never Knew You Didn't Need

WEIRD INVENTIONS YOU NEVER KNEW YOU DIDN'T NEED DINE-INK PEN UTENSIL SET LED SLIPPERS 29 28 USA USA Everyone knows the world-ending pain of the dreaded stubbed toe, crumpled against a wall as you stumble Ideas as you eat.. Coming at you from your spaghetti, swimming in your soup and collating in your curry, but your way to the toilet in the dark. These LED slippers will reduce toe-stubbing incidents by letting your feet light the way. you're up spoon creek with no pen in sight! Never again with this pen-cum-cutlery set. SNUFFLE BABE NASAL TREASURE SEEKERS METAL DETECTING SANDALS ASPIRATOR 27 26 EK UK USA If the thought of picking out your offspring's snot with Kill two birds with two sandals on your next holiday by your finger disgusts, why not suck it up into your mouth through a plastic tube instead? Winner of the 2008 Queen's Award for Outstanding Innovation. finding rusty old bottle caps and as a bonus, look extra stylish while you do. Good luck explaining them to airport security. GPS SHOES BUNCH O BALLOONS 25 24 INDIA USA The North Star, the Compass, Google Maps. All these Sun Tzu once said 'The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.' Failing that, hit them hard with this 100-a-minute water bomb reloading solution things have advanced human navigation. Now the next revolution is here: GPS guided, Bluetooth connected, vibrating shoes. Perfect to get you home after a night and watch neighbourhood children run in fear of a out at your local. soaking. HEELS WITH TRAINING WHEELS ROLLER BUGGY 23 22 BULGARIA JAPAN As the great Charmillionare once said "They see me Heels are a tricky business to master. Some say they are rollin', They hatin". If you're ridin' thirty with kids and a hbasically a torturous tiptoe experience from hell, as places to be, this scooter-pram crossover might just fit your feet balance on two spikes. The Japanese decided your anti-gangster lifestyle. What could possibly go wrong? to up the difficulty level by adding wheels. Nice work! AMPHIBIOUS TURNON MULTI FUNCTIONAL SPINNING WALL BICYCLE 21 20 FRANCE SOUTH KOREA When it comes to contraptions as quirky as an A dining table, a sofa, and a human-sized hamster wheel amphibious bike, they either sink or swim. Ironically this one from 1932 sank, but that hasn't stopped countless other inventors attempting to solve one of all in one. This giant ball of metal and white plastic supposedly saves space in your apartment. I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. man's greatest limitations- being unable to cycle on water. FINGER FORKS CAR SHOVEL 19 18 K UK FRANCE Do passers-by always comment on your poor cutlery Invented in Paris to reduce the number of causalities on wielding skills? Tell them to 'fork off' with this dishwasher safe substitute to being Wolverine. Also the streets, it somehow never took off, perhaps due to young Parisian poets relaxing on a free ride around the city, also rumoured where Kerouac penned 'On the available in a 24 fork pack for when you REALLY want to get the party started. Road'. PEE-PEE TEEPEE CUTTING BOARD BIRD FEEDER 17 16 CANADA USA Nappy changing, the real life equivalent to Bucking Bronco, though instead of a toy donkey losing the plot There is nothing worse than a crumb. A useless morsel that isn't big enough to bother eating but always leaves over yet more luggage, it's a fountain of urine you're trying to avoid. Thus enter the Pee-Pee Teepee; the a mess. This invention funnels those pesky pieces off to the birds, who always love a crumb or two. urine blocker. TOLIET SEAT SCALE BABYMOP ONESIE 15 14 * UK SOUTH KOREA The ideal present for the pedometer wielding fitness freak in your life. Find out how much of your lunch goes Kids today are rebellious and lazy. The tabloids say so, and who are we to argue with their over-simplified to waste when you... how to put this... drop the kids off generalisations? Be a smart parent and teach your at the pool. young proper work ethic with this convenient mop-onsie-hybrid. CURL UP MATRESS FELINE FOWL FEEDER 13 12 K UK USA This one person bed is an introvert's dream, putting an end to awkward spooning, duvet hogging and human contact. It also can be used to escape your crazy A dog is man's best friend, but according to this invention cats are just cold blooded killers. Ensure you're not the next victim of your kitty's murderous Sweat-Heart Sweet-Shirt wielding spouse. whims by supplying it with a multitude of feathery cannon fodder. FLIZ (FOOT POWERED BIKE) ROLLING BENCH 11 10 SOUTH KOREA GERMANY Sitting on a plastic bag at a soggy picnic is a thing of the Help out car manufacturers by returning cycling to the past with the Rolling Bench! Shield yourself from the dorky alternative to gas guzzling vehicles it once was. The Fliz is the only mode of transport that turns you realities of a frighteningly damp world by rotating away the wet side of the park bench. into one of those horrifying wheeler creatures from the 1985 Classic: Return to Oz. HAMSTER POWERED PAPER SHREDDER AIR UMBRELLA 9. 8. * UK CHINA You've already enslaved a wild animal in an attempt to This plastic stick blows air out the top, shielding you appease your hyper-stimulated children. Why not recuperate some of the food costs by putting Fluffy to from pesky raindrops. It's currently enjoying rave reviews on its Kickstarter page including: 'I want an work, saving literally pence from your electricity bill? update, my umbrella, or a refund.' They can't say it sucks, though. TOMATAN- ROBOT THAT FEEDS YOU TOMATOES SWEAT-HEART SWEET-SHIRT JAPAN USA What's bright red, weighs 8kg, and feeds you up to 6 The Sweat-heart Sweet-shirt enables two to become one, combining you and your other half into one (Yes six!) tomatoes per load? It's the Tomatan: a shoulder-mounted robot friend for hungry runners. Get all-powerful couple like some totally loved-up your tomato fix as you pound the pavement. megazord. Also useful for saving on the radiator bills. ARM BOYFRIEND PRE-HANDSHAKE DEVICE EK UK USA Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on sometimes, well with this weird invention that's all you get. This arm Germophobe Diplomats rejoice! While designer Dominic Wilcox says of his art/invention "I think this boyfriend won't forget birthdays or buy you rubbish device could genuinely save the world", from here it just looks like two rubber gloves in a box. gifts, but it isn't the best for chatting. ANTI-PEVERT HAIRY STOCKINGS PAO FACIAL FITNESS JAPAN CHINA Cristiano Ronaldo makes millions pushing his body to Ward off unwanted attention by disguising yourself as a the limit, but there was one place he could never Wookie from the waist down, but be prepared to attract exercise: his face. Naturally he endorses his saviour, the Discovery Channel Big Foot documentary makers in the floppy PAO Facial Fitness device. process. INNER SELFIE STICK EK UK dredcandy Has Instagram selfie culture gone too far? Ensure it does with this pre-lubricated, FaceTime compatible, shut up, beige! VGA quality camera, which was released on April 1st (hint hint). Wash thoroughly if purchasing second hand. www.redcandy.co.uk