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Things To Consider Before Getting Married

Things to consider Before You Get Married Falling in love with someone can be one of the best feelings in the world, but staying in love with someone is an entirely different task. Every couple planning on going the distance needs to develop the ability to talk about everything- You may think you know your fiancee', but there are certain issues you need to be dead certain of before you tire the knot. Get the awkwardness out of the way and have the conversation now, so you can enter your big day with no lingering doubts. 1. Money How will you handle your money? Who will pay the bills, save, plan for spending and allocate fun money? Should you follow a budget? Should you open up a shared bank account or keep your finances separate? How will you handle debt or asset management, and how will you draw the distinction between necessary and luxury goods? Money is a big topic couples gloss over and then regret, and it is one of the top reasons couples give for getting divorced! BANK 2.Kids The next big step after marriage is usually having children, but do you both want kids? Do you agree on when to have them, how many you want and how you plan to take care of them? What kind of parenting style will you adopt, and are you able to work as a team to keep up a united front? ? Kids are a blessing, but definitely a stress-inducer for relationships-plan accordingly. 3. Career Think carefully about how you want to divide the division of labour in your household. Will both of you work? How many hours a week, including overtime? Will'it be okay for one of you not to work and under what circumstances? If one of yOU were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other's family, are you prepared to move? How do your levels of ambition match or differ? Are you okay with them being different? If they match, does it cause competition and how do you handle that in the long term? Work is usually a big part of your life (taking up a third of a day) so it is important you both understand how it plays out in your future lives together. 4. Sex & Intimacy Are your sexual needs compatible? Do have similar libidos, and do either of you want more, less, or different things to happen in your love life? Do you feel comfortable talking about it? Is your partner as affectionate as you views on Public Displays of Affection? ould like? And what are your It is often said that in a struggling relationship sex and intimacy are the first things to go. Make sure your private life remains exciting and fulfilling for you both to ensure your long-term happiness. 5. In-Laws Are there any major family of origin issues? How good is each potential spouse at setting limits with family and/or are either of you bothered by this issue? What place does family of origin play in your life as a couple? How about when you have kids? How often do you visit or socialize with family? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often? How will you handle holidays with families? How much involvement do or will family members or parents have in decision making? Will you function as a couple first, or part of a larger family who has great influence? Remember, the family comes along when you get married and a healthy couple moves their relationshin bubble. 6. Other Important Concerns Do you have problems in your relationship you need to deal with before your wedding? Is there violence, drugs/alcohol, mental health illness, personal issues, or past things that might affect the relationship, including past marriages, kids or alimony? Are you each happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (smoking, excessive dieting or poor diet)? Are there issues from dating that could affect the marriage like trust, unfaithfulness or difficulties handling conflict well? Is it is important to be faithful to one another? Choosing not to talk about these things doesn't make them go away-they will return. You may already know the answers to some of the questions posed on this list, but take a few moments either way to clarify your thinking and verify your partner's. If you don't know the answers then sit down for a talk about the topic, and be frank about your thoughts and feelings. These discussions may take some time, but it is time well invested in your future rewarding relationship. Not being on the same page could put an early end to your romance, so make sure you both understand where the other person And remember, don't just talk about these topics once and leave it- these are issues you'll be discussing for the rest of your married life, and not talking about it doesn't make it go away. It is okay for the answers to change, and if you keep talking you'll be able to keep up gracefully with the changes. in their life. Brought to you by Chris Winspear Jewellery www.chriswinspear.co.za

Things To Consider Before Getting Married

shared by AndreClifford on Oct 13
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Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but staying in love is a wonderful skill. Every couple needs to develop the ability to talk about everything. You may think you know your spouse-to-be, there may ...

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