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Surprising Stats About Domestic Violence

THE WAR AT HOME HOW TO SPOT DOMESTIC ABUSE EVERY EVERY EVERY* 60 SECONDS 60 MINUTES 24 HOURS 34,560 24 1,440 EVERY 365 DAYS 12 MILLION IN THE UNITED STATES* PEOPLE ARE VICTIMS OF RAPE, PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, OR STALKING BY AN INTIMATE PARTNER (This includes both men & women ) MORE THAN 1 IN 3 WOMEN MORE THAN 1 IN 4 MEN HAVE EXPERIENCED RAPE, PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, AND / OR STALKING BY AN INTIMATE 35.6% PARTNER IN THEIR LIFETIME 28.5% WOMEN 27.2%→ of 11.7% MEN of women men LIKELIHOOD OF EXPERIENCING have experienced unwanted sexual contact DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STRAIGHT WOMEN STRAIGHT MEN amount of likelihood that a woman will experience. domestic violence 259 7.6% WHITE WOMEN OF STRAIGHT WOMEN EXPERIENCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OF STRAIGHT MEN EXPERIENCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 2.5% MORE LIKELY WOMEN OF OTHER RACES 35% MORE LIKELY GAY WOMEN GAY MEN AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN AFRICAN AMERICANS ARE LESS LIKELY TO REPORT ABUSE 11% 15% Only 17% of African American Women who survive domestic violence report the abuse OF LESBIANS EXPERIENCE DOMESTIC OF CO-HABITATING GAY MEN REPORT DOMESTIC ABUSE ABUSE Two biggest issues: RACISM AND SEXISM MANY CONSIDER RACISM TO BE THE BIGGER PROBLEM International Studies Show 5% - 10% OF MEN have reported being victims of sexual violerce as children African Americans often FEEL THEY CANNOT TRUST THE POLICE or legal systems African American WOMEN TEND TO FIGHT BACK rather than report abuse 20% OF WOMEN As many as 90% FOR PEOPLE WHO 22% OF MEN % OF WOMEN JAILED MURDERING MEN REPORT BEING RAPED AT SOME POINT DURING THEIR LIVES report some form of sexual violence (other than rape) against them at some point in their lives 18.3% HAD BEEN ABUSED BY THEIR VICTIMS 1.4% MEN WOMEN ABUSE CAN TAKE MANY DIFFERENT FORMS EMOTIONAL ABUSE & PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE • Undermining victim's sense of worth • Verbal threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, belittling, intimidation, or isolation • Verbal abuse causes emotional pain and scarring • Stress and tension build over things like family, children, and money; victims then try to appease the abuser by giving in to avoid tension TENSION 1 BUILDING PHASE • Tension boils over and the abuser becomes violent PHYSICAL ABUSE • Any ùnwanted touching, violent or nonviolent • Pushing, pulling, or grabbing • Throwing objects • This phase is dependent on the emotions of the abuser and/or their external stimuli episodes, which are unpredictable. Victims may subconsciously trigger episodes to be able to move on faster. ACUTE (2 BATTERING PHASE SEXUAL ABUSE • The abuser is usually very remorseful; They may try to minimize the abusive episode or blame the victim. They are often very loving and gentle during this phase, making the victim feel sympathetic toward the abuser, resulting in the victim staying in the relationship HONEYMOON PHASE • Pressure/coercion of anything that is sexual in nature • Restricting access to birth control or condoms • Sexual contact with someone who is not in control of their senses and can not express consent, i.e., drunk or drugged OTHER TYPES OF ABUSE FINANCIAL ABUSE DIGITAL ABUSE • Giving an allowance, closely monitoring purchases • Verbal/emotional abuse that uses technology to bully, harass, stalk, or intimidate a partner • Refusal to give money for necessary items • Sending of negative/threatening emails or social media messages • Restricting access to shared bank accounts • Use of social media sites to keep "tabs" on partner • Limiting work hours, or harassment, at place of employment • Use of social media to post demeaning comments/pictures of partner • Stealing their partner's passwords WARNING SIGNS HABITS OF ABUSERS It's not easy at the beginning of a relationship to spot the signs of abuse DRIVEN BY COMMITMENT HABITUALLY JEALOUS MISPLACES BLAME • Minor jealous streaks can lead to major ones • Obsessive behavior • Doesn't take responsibility for actions • Blames others for personal problems • "Love at first sight" is a myth • Claiming early on in a relationship that you are "soul mates" • Abusers gain undue trust by flattery and manipulațion SUPERIORITY COMPLEX HABITUALLY DISRESPECTFUL OVERLY AGGRESSIVE • Self-righteous/egotistical tendencies • Attacks other's self-ésteem to boost their self-esteem • Malicious sarcasm • Violent outbursts over minor frustrations • Condescending remarks • Tendency to throw/smash objects in a fit of rage ABUSED MEN IT CAN BE DIFFICULT FOR MEN TO ESCAPE ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR IN BOTH HETEROSEXUAL AND HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS ABUSED MEN FACE: YOU ARE NOT ALONE • Skepticism from police and others • You shouldn't feel ashamed • Lower availability of resources • Don't deny that there is a problem • Seek help and defend yourself, • Legal obstacles pertaining to gaining custody of children but don't retaliate with violence But not all relationships are bad HOW TO SPOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP It takes two YOU AND YOUR PARTNER MUST DECIDE TOGETHER WHAT IS HEALTHY IN YOUR SPECIFIC RELATIONSHIP The two most important components that keep your relationship on the right track Communication & Boundaries is key in any healthy relationship help both partners feel comfortable in their own skin • Respectfully discuss thoughts and feelings • Actively listen and compromise • Family, friends, finances, personal time/space, and sex life all need boundaries • Listen to your partners concerns so they will feel heard • Trust is the foundation of a relationship • Support each other's achievements and interests • When being critical of your partner, keep your comments constructive • Ask first, and don't pressure your partner to do things they may be uncomfortable with • Allow each other personal time for friends, family, and hobbies DON'T BLAME THE "He really knows how to push my buttons". VICTIM Abusers often blame the "She was hysterical" victim, circumstances, or claim they had good intentions "I was so wasted" "She just bruises easily" DON'T ASK WHY A VICTIM DOESN'T LEAVE, ASK INSTEAD WHY THE ABUSER ABUSES DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP AND TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING ANY FORM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE. If your conscience is telling you, "“Something's not right," trust it. It is NEVER ok for someone to say or do anything that lowers your self-esteem. There is always a way out. HOW TO BE SUPPORTIVE IF YOU SUSPECT A FRIEND MAY BE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Don't be afraid to contact the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE • Listèn; but don't judge 1-800-799-7233 • Offer help • Don't gossip IN THE US, CALL OR VISIT THEHOTLINE.ORG 0808 2000 247 NATIONALDOMESTICVIOLENCEHELPLINE.ORG.UK • Don't confront the attacker OR IN THE UK, CALL OR VISIT PRESENTED BY: freedating.co.uk DEVELOPED BY NOWSOURCING WCADV & Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Viblence Sources: Dube, A., Whitfield, B., Felitti, D.G. (2005). Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 28(5). loveisrespect.org http://bit.ly/abuse-1 http://bit.ly/abuse-10. cdc.gov stopdv.org- http://bit.ly/abuse-2 http://bit.ly/abuse-11 ndvh.org who.int http://bit.ly/abuse-3 http://bit.ly/abuse-12 domesticviolenceroundtable.org Domestic Violence Against Men: Know the Signs - Learn to identify domestic violence nij.gov http://bit.ly/abuse-5 http://bit.ly/abuse-13 nij.gov ons.gov.uk http://bit.ly/abuse-6 http://bit.ly/abuse-14 cdc.gov hopesdoorny.org http://bit.ly/abuse-7: http://bit.ly/abuse-15 americanbar,org thehotline.org http://bit.ly/abuse-8 http://bit.ly/abuse-16 time.com cdc.gov http://bit.ly/abuse-9 http://bit.ly/abuse-17 psychologytoday.com against men and how to break the cycle and get help. (Mayo Clinic) Men Hurt Too - A selection of articles about domestic violence against men, including battered men sharing their experiences and advice on how to get help. (Heart 2 Heart) Patricia Tjaden, Symposium on Integrating Responses to Domestic Violence: Extent and Nature of Intimate Partner Violence as measured by the National Violence Against Women Survey, 47 Loy. L. Rev. 41, 54 (2003)

Surprising Stats About Domestic Violence

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Domestic violence is a lot more common than you might realize. Learn more about it from this infographic.

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