I'm A Creative ... Get Me Out Of Here!

I'M A CREATIVE Get Me Out Of Here! 10 Toxic 'Bugs' of the Creative Workplace Jungle’ You Should Avoid Getting Bitten By! (Plus Their ANTIDOTES!) Miss Tweak Mr Facebook Friends Mr Meeting 00 Mr Cheapskate Mrs Dither Lady Rush-Job Ms Tight-Budget Professor Know It All Mr Shiny Object Seeker Mrs Stick Or Twist Miss Tweak So wise up and get mean! Don't offer your logo/ web design/ copywriting service with 'unlimited revisions', else Miss Tweak and her This little madam is properly tiresome, but her 'oh-so-sugary-sweet' demeanour makes it seem like every darned request is so very teeny-weeny – you'd have to be a right old cronies will take full advantage. Offer one meanie to refuse Miss Tweak her latest round of revisions, or two at the max and whimsical indulgence! make it crystal clear in your contract. Mr Facebook Friends This is the client who insists on showing your As someone who values their craft, make it perfectly clear you don't entertain 'creative design mock-ups to all and sundry: his Facebook pals, the local vicar, the woman opinion by committee.' Other than consulting behind the fish counter at ASDA, Great Auntie with a company partner, or someone of that ilk, Gertie et al, in order that you, (the trusty if your client cannot be relied upon to make creative), can incorporate their myriad of swift, smart decisions at each stage of the "feedback", (yes, all of it!) into the (finally) project, then offload him onto some other mug, chosen design. PHEW! double-quick! Mr Meeting This guy considers his time more valuable than We live in a digital age, so utilise Skype, email, yours and he doesn't care who knows it, least and the humble telephone to keep Mr Meeting of all you. up to speed, (whilst keeping him at bay physically!) Beware: overindulge him, or pander Mr Meeting wants you to update him (in to his every whim at your peril, because he'll person, naturally) through every stage of his only demand even more of your time and project - and then some. attention. Mr Cheapskate Mr Cheapskate wants to scan your itemised Imagine asking Kelly Hoppen to pop round to price list before he will so much as consider your new pad to "throw out a few interior entering into a conversation with you. design ideas" which you will then get Mick up the road to pull together for next to nothing. Next he'll happily tap you for your 'creative It just ain't gonna happen! vision' for his project, without any mention of following through with a formal contract. And it's not going to happen to you either. No, what you do, is to suggest a marketing You see, Mr Cheapskate is nothing if not consultation, (at your normal hourly rate, cunning. He wants to capture your best ideas naturally), which is then deductable off the total and send them off to foreign climes to get of a creative services' package purchased in the them developed - at a fraction of the cost. next three months. Don't ever encourage tyre- kickers, they're 10-a-penny and you're worth far more! Lady Rush-Job Easily identifiable by her frantic call to you over Don't fall for Lady RJ's mind games, nor her the jungle telegraph: dubious charm offensive. Creativity isn't something you can just conjure up like a "It's a rush job, but it'll only take a professional cheese sandwich, or a cuppa. Besides like you five minutes." which, Lady Rush-Job is assuming you'll drop your current commitments and Which roughly translates as: "If you can't fix this for me NOW, then you're not the professional squeeze her in at a moment's notice because she's really that important. Either designer you're making out to be." negotiate a respectable timeframe for the project, or tell her ever so sweetly that you're "simply too busy right now - sorry." Mrs Dither Closely related to Mr Facebook Friends, Mrs Dither Be firm but fair. Reassure Mrs Dither that persistently stalls for time; either because she the course of action you are taking (on her doubts your creative abilities, (unlikely, else she behalf) is the correct one. Leave no room wouldn't have taken the grand leap of faith and for doubt. Also make sure that your hired you in the first place), or else, (and much 'schedule of deliverables' is strictly adhered more likely), because she considers her own to – don't allow momentum to flounder, judgement to be flawed and doesn't trust herself to make mistakes that might cost her money. else you'll end up as dithery as her. And that's really not good for business! Professor Know-It-All He's bound to mention, during your very first Remember that, as the creative, you are interaction, his total dissatisfaction with the being paid for your skills, experience and umpteen previous creatives he's worked with over the past year or so, and how difficult it is to find a expertise, so take charge of the relationship from the 'get gơ' and don't let Prof KIA's creative who can 'follow orders' bluster intimidate you. Professor KIA isn't interested in hearing your Make sure your brief and your attitude is opinions, creative ideas, or reviewing case studies solid from the outset – and let it be known of your previous clients, all he wants is someone that Prof KIA is paying you for your know-how to recognise and implement his (somewhat and ability and not the other way round. impaired) vision. Ms Tight-Budget This flighty young lady is about to launch her latest Whilst you have to admire Miss TB's business concept into the world, and would love ambition, guts, (and indeed, nerve), there's to present YOU with the 'opportunity of a a fine line between bona fide charity work lifetime' – in joining her soon-to-be Fortune 500 and being taken for a prize mug - and Ms empire... at basement level. Tight-Budget has just crossed it! For the time-being of course, she's on something Wish her well in her financial endeavours, of a Tight-Budget, which means basically you will but unfortunately you don't have time to be working for peanuts (if not for free), with the devote to her budding start-up just now - promise of 'as much work as you can handle' once besides which, Sir Richard Branson is on the Ms TB hits the BIG TIME! Hmm... other line, so you really must dash... Mr Shiny Object Seeker Part-geek, part wannabe-entrepreneur, Mr SOS Mr SOS's intentions are undoubtedly gets his name from shaving spent endless hours honourable, however, he never sticks with surfing the web in search of the next BIG thing, any one project long enough to see it be it products, software, or fads that will come through to fruition and go in the blink of an eye. If you enjoy the thrill of uncertainty and the Akin to the Del Boy of the Digital World, in challenge of short-term projects and crazy footballing terms Mr SOS harbours the admirable deadlines, then this partnership might just ambitions of say ... Lionel Messi, though his be a match made in heaven. But do bear in finishing in front of goal is more , er... Lionel mind that you may find yourself halfway Blair. through a design brief, when Mr SOS takes off in pursuit of his next shiny object! Mrs Stick Or Twist Mrs SOT has a dilemma: Her current website is You understand (only too wellI), that aesthetically beautiful, only - it's not converting. under the right circumstances, plain ugly Not remotely. And she's hired you in the role of websites can convert like crazy, so stick to Chief Troubleshooter. your guns. You've diagnosed the problem areas: confusing Pretty-pretty websites, minus smart navigation and one too many distracting navigation and a clear call-to-action, just graphics, but Mrs SOT is hovering between won't cut it in today's ultra-competitive options, while you need to put this brief to bed online marketplace, so make sure Mrs SOT knows that fact. And acts upon it! and get cracking on firing-up her conversion rates. Want a custom-designed infographic for your business? WOO ©Jan Jordyn WOO Local Ltd 2014 local