How to Make a Successful App

HOW TO MAKE a SUCCESSFUL APP! No Have a good idea? Other people hod the same idoo Just do it better - Yes What about a fart opp? There are only 567 of those on the App Store Can you progrom? I guess so Send emails to thousonds of developers. Tell them you will give them a percentage of the profits id they build your app for free. Attach a 100 page NDA before sharing your idea No Good. Find a job as o programmer There is a better chance of eoning o living Job found! rl keep on Why Progrom apps for others Everybody wants an app Just like they needed a website 20 years ago. This only works on Macs. Not a Mac evangelist (yer) Buy o Moc Welcome to the OS SOK Create your iTunes profile I dont understand all this legal stuff Just click occept. You don' have a choice anyway Have a family life? That's OK. Tell your wife you make a ton of money so you can buy a pony for the kids Good. You are a real programme They believed it! I don't understand why my app doesn't work Compile on opp exomple from apple Learn obout App Publish it -ejection policy Keyboord marks on your cheek from when you fall asloep on Pizza boy calls you by lyour first name. My first app! Enter the nnel Diet Coke by the liters Forget whot Go on forums Be reassured you're not alone Become a Well, google it and swallow it This builds character You've got no Send it to serial poster I've got no friends anymore They find bugs!! No They do not answer anymorel Reod intelligent stulf on "Coding Homor Have you ever heard about architecture and use coses? Beta testers are silly and do things you would never do That's why they ore beta testers I've got to redo everything Enrole the pizza boy os a beta tester Everyone hos an iPhone todo Good Silent beta testers Don't bother with bugs! mean they are bored and no langer take pleasure in destorying your dream Publish your opp Publish your opp anyway Call these "features" Wor for the app to be reviewed by Apple No opproval yet. Rejected I know. This is just to get vou through the nest few days thinking about whot this could possibly mean Open a blog and complain publicly about Apple's totalitarianism for not publishing fort applications anymore! Approved Be patient. This will come carlier than expected and -- later than you imagined This means nothing Poor guy Now you have users to deal with GOLDEN RULE or USERS One App sold-One customor-One problem It dosen't sell anyway Open on app roview blog and beg developers for free Too many useless apps hid your own croation Be sure that other outhors You get in the top 200 feel the same about yours You have Get comfort from this thought a copycat Someone published on app with identical nome and logo Discover lawyer fees and cry Good Become more ansious than traders having greek debt in their portolio Check Tunes every five minutes. PROBLEM WITH AVERAGING STARS: Sales go up! ***** Excellent down. * Crap, cannot update. Receive email fram Understand what SEO means Apple requesting graphical materials as your opp may be featured yoah. It's due tomarrow Average:**d Hire some marketing folks Spend the night on photoshop. Send your stuff to the App Store guys nd begin praying One week later Well they mus have a lot of good opps to feature. That'l be for the next woek These are upgrade figures, not sales Read iTunes Connect user guide Two weeks later No complaining users? You've Why bother osking for material if they do not foature it Three weeks loter. forgotten about being featured. Wonder what these sales numbers are You've been featured!!E Receive emails from customers who bought your opplication just becouse it's been featured and who complain about not needing it Dear Sir, Iwas wondering you could moke your code opon source. I find guys like you wanting to make money with programming Silly user! Weird emails. Google "Clients from Hell Lough, see you're not olone and answer to the next 1000 emails before going to bed shameful Check your bank account O got this email really) Congratulations You had your fest money tronsfer from Apple! Buy a new Moc Forget thom Look at use comments Good ones And after one year Discover that writing o bad comment con save your day when your boss screamed at you all day You earned a lot of money! Do you live in Fronce? Remember Be happy to have the first health care in the world and pay 3O%of your income to finance is deficit them for the rest of your life Go on Holiday! Be sure to always have on internet connection on this tropical island to keep on eye on user emails PRINCIPLE or RELSTIUITM oF PRICES Users spend hundreds of dollars for an iPhone and complain about the price of one dollar apps. Get bored After 3 1OS versions Go back in front of your computer ond Be sod obout soles inevitably going down start a new opplication After depression Hire some folks to market your app in hopes of getting more downloads and generating tons of media coverage And have fun doing it