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Transcribed

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

HOW TO SURVIVE A
ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
BY: GOAL ZERO
POWER ANYWHERE

THE KIT OF LIFE
WATER PROOF MATCHES
LARGE BACKPACK
AXE
BACON
RECHARGEABLE FLASHLIGHT
ROPE
2 POCKET KNIVES
GPS
FILTERING WATER BOTTLE
PORTABLE SOLAR GEAR
FIRST AID KIT

MOVE TO COLD QUARTERS
OPTIMAL LIVING ZONE
ZOMBIES FREEZE IN THE COLD, LITERALLY
WITH NO BLOOD CIRCULATION, ZOMBIES CRUMBLE.

DISTRACT BY DANCING
THRILLER
IS KILLER, ZOMBIES STOP, DROP, AND DANCE TO MICHAEL JACKSON – EVERY TIME.

LEARN PARKOUR
PARKOUR MEANS:
JUMPING, RUNNING, OR CLIMBING TO GET AROUND VARIOUS OBSTACLES IN THE QUICKEST AND MOST EFFICIENT MANNER POSSIBLE. START PRACTICING.

SET UP SHOP AT COSTCO
COSTCO WHOLESALE
BULK FOOD
ENOUGH SAID.

BROADCAST CAT VIDEOS
ZOMBIES AREN’T IMMUNE TO CUTE
IF YOU CAN KEEP THE CAT VIDEOS COMING, YOU’LL HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO OUTRUN YOUR FRIENDS.

CHUCK AND RUN
BOTTOM LINE: ZOMBIES ARE CLUELESS AND CLUTZY.

ATTACK THEIR ALLERGIES
BRAINS LOOK LIKE CAULIFLOWER
10 OUT OF 10 ZOMBIE TESTS
PROVE HEALTHY FOOD MAKES THEIR HEADS
EXPLODE

KICK AND CLIMB
ZOMBIES ARE WEAK SAUCE
THESE MINDLESS DRONES CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO CLIMB

USE DUCT TAPE
HONESTLY, THERE ISN'T A
SINGLE SITUATION DUCT TAPE CAN’T HANDLE. HOW TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALNPSE BY: O GOALZERO. POWER ANYWHERE THE KIT OF LIFE BACON LARGE BACKPACK RECHARGEABLE FLASHLIGHT ROPE WATER PROOF MATCHES AXE 2 POCKET KNIVES FILTERING WATER BOTTLE FIRST AID KIT GPS PORTABLE SOLAR GEAR MOVE TO COLD QUARTERS OPTIMAL LIVING ZONE ZOMBIES FREEZE IN THE COLD, LITERALLY WITH NO BLOOD CIRCULATION, ZOMBIES CRUMBLE. DISTRACT BY DANCING LEARN PARKOUR THRILLER PARKOUR MEANS: IS KILLER. ZOMBIES STOP, DROP, AND DANCE TO MICHAEL JACKSON - EVERY TIME. JUMPING, RUNNING, OR CLIMBING TO GET AROUND VARIOUS OBSTACLES IN THE QUICKEST AND MOST EFFICIENT MANNER POSSIBLE. START PRACTICING. SET UP SHOP AT COSTCO BULK FOOD COSTCO ENOUGH SAID. EWHOLESALE BROADCAST CAT VIDEOS CHUCK AND RUN ZOMBIES AREN'T IMMUNE TO CUTE BOTTOM LINE: ZOMBIES ARE CLUELESS AND CLUTZY. IF YOU CAN KEEP THE CAT VIDEOS COMING, YOU'LL HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO OUTRUN YOUR FRIENDS. ATTACK THEIR ALLERGIES 10 OUT OF 10 ZOMBIE TESTS LOOK LIKE PROVE HEALTHY FOOD MAKES THEIR HEADS EXPLODE BRAINS CAULIFLOWER KICK AND CLIMB ZOMBIES ARE WEAK SAUCE THESE MINDLESS DRONES CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO CLIMB. USE DUCT TAPE HONESTLY, THERE ISN'T A SINGLE SITUATION DUCT TAPE CAN'T HANDLE. Ø GOALZERO. POWER ANYWHERE

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

shared by prmarketing on Apr 11
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Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse? If not, you really should be. Zombies are deadly but if you follow these tips and tricks, you’ll survive like a pro! All you need is the right gear, Micha...

Publisher

Goal Zero

Category

Humor
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