A Flowchart of Facebook Portrait Styles

the Eiffel Tower caressing each wrestling in laying in the grass with parrots on shoulders other's faces the snow kissing nuzzling sharing an trying to VACATION beach in front of sunset BEING GROSS ice cream cone roller skate LAUGHING LIKE LUNATICS deranged smiles bathtub ΒΕΙNG touching GROSS keg stand noses YOU AND SIGNIFICANT WEDDING in rowboat YOU AND OTHER matching outfits beer bong PASSED PET OUT eating cake breast feeding attractive stranger prom in Iraq spring break PARTY Halloween PAIR YOU AND FILIAL EMBRACE YOU AND BABY graduation FRIEND THREE OR MORE family portrait holding up booze on fishing trip karaoke YOU AND FAMOUS GROUP PERSON St. Patrick's Day SPORTING EVENT BAR And their bodyguard, pushing you away PORTRAIT summer camp baby you screaming co-worker happy hour pointing at team's name on shirt ΤΑΚΕΝ Α blue sky thin you LONG TIME hang gliding AGO rock climbing white wall not-bald you FACEBOOK YOU ONLY Photoshopped PROFILE DID ONCE scuba diving driving PORTRAITS + sneer middle finger offering drink beach yoga blowing smoke at lens АCTIVITY Europe INTERACTING WITH VIEWER marijuana jogging ON VACATION large fish sword SELF EXOTIC BADASS PORTRAIT gun LOCATION CONSPICUOUS hiking on a boat PROPS bling mountaintop rooftop EXPENSIVE sports car acoustic guitar camera hiding face SELF DECEPTIVE SHOT excessive makeup Asian stripper motorcycle PROFESSIONAL PHOTO brick wall extreme angle in underwear windswept hair fashion model PARTIALLY UNDRESSED feigned shyness USING MIRROR in swimsuit DRESS- movie star UP ab reveal shirtless CAVE-LIKE ROOM blinding flash suicide face cos play BATHROOM sexy face flexing murder face sleepy eyes dead robot eyes PORTRAIT INTERPRETATION FASTOMPANY CROPPING ZOOM 1 cerebral, observant, possibly fat introverted, loner, possibly hiding a dark secret 1 2 shy, playful, possibly 3 crooked-nosed 2 average, well-rounded 3 outgoing, talkative, possibly balding extroverted, open, or possibly a skilled Machiavellian 3 4 slutty, possibly headless manipulator intense, possibly a poet, or a murderer, or both (like Hannibal Lecter!) 4 ANGLE 0°-5° 6°-15° 16°-30° 31°-50° < 51° stable self-consciously quirky fun-loving risky business dangerously volatile DESIGNED BY DOOGIE HORNER * in 2% of portraits, cropping and angle is due to drunkenness, laziness, or lack of artistic prowess, and doesn't otherwise reflect subject's character ------ 이 still full-of-potential you the Eiffel Tower caressing each wrestling in laying in the grass with parrots on shoulders other's faces the snow kissing nuzzling sharing an trying to VACATION beach in front of sunset BEING GROSS ice cream cone roller skate LAUGHING LIKE LUNATICS deranged smiles bathtub ΒΕΙNG touching GROSS keg stand noses YOU AND SIGNIFICANT WEDDING in rowboat YOU AND OTHER matching outfits beer bong PASSED PET OUT eating cake breast feeding attractive stranger prom in Iraq spring break PARTY Halloween PAIR YOU AND FILIAL EMBRACE YOU AND BABY graduation FRIEND THREE OR MORE family portrait holding up booze on fishing trip karaoke YOU AND FAMOUS GROUP PERSON St. Patrick's Day SPORTING EVENT BAR And their bodyguard, pushing you away PORTRAIT summer camp baby you screaming co-worker happy hour pointing at team's name on shirt ΤΑΚΕΝ Α blue sky thin you LONG TIME hang gliding AGO rock climbing white wall not-bald you FACEBOOK YOU ONLY Photoshopped PROFILE DID ONCE scuba diving driving PORTRAITS + sneer middle finger offering drink beach yoga blowing smoke at lens АCTIVITY Europe INTERACTING WITH VIEWER marijuana jogging ON VACATION large fish sword SELF EXOTIC BADASS PORTRAIT gun LOCATION CONSPICUOUS hiking on a boat PROPS bling mountaintop rooftop EXPENSIVE sports car acoustic guitar camera hiding face SELF DECEPTIVE SHOT excessive makeup Asian stripper motorcycle PROFESSIONAL PHOTO brick wall extreme angle in underwear windswept hair fashion model PARTIALLY UNDRESSED feigned shyness USING MIRROR in swimsuit DRESS- movie star UP ab reveal shirtless CAVE-LIKE ROOM blinding flash suicide face cos play BATHROOM sexy face flexing murder face sleepy eyes dead robot eyes PORTRAIT INTERPRETATION FASTOMPANY CROPPING ZOOM 1 cerebral, observant, possibly fat introverted, loner, possibly hiding a dark secret 1 2 shy, playful, possibly 3 crooked-nosed 2 average, well-rounded 3 outgoing, talkative, possibly balding extroverted, open, or possibly a skilled Machiavellian 3 4 slutty, possibly headless manipulator intense, possibly a poet, or a murderer, or both (like Hannibal Lecter!) 4 ANGLE 0°-5° 6°-15° 16°-30° 31°-50° < 51° stable self-consciously quirky fun-loving risky business dangerously volatile DESIGNED BY DOOGIE HORNER * in 2% of portraits, cropping and angle is due to drunkenness, laziness, or lack of artistic prowess, and doesn't otherwise reflect subject's character ------ 이 still full-of-potential you the Eiffel Tower caressing each wrestling in laying in the grass with parrots on shoulders other's faces the snow kissing nuzzling sharing an trying to VACATION beach in front of sunset BEING GROSS ice cream cone roller skate LAUGHING LIKE LUNATICS deranged smiles bathtub ΒΕΙNG touching GROSS keg stand noses YOU AND SIGNIFICANT WEDDING in rowboat YOU AND OTHER matching outfits beer bong PASSED PET OUT eating cake breast feeding attractive stranger prom in Iraq spring break PARTY Halloween PAIR YOU AND FILIAL EMBRACE YOU AND BABY graduation FRIEND THREE OR MORE family portrait holding up booze on fishing trip karaoke YOU AND FAMOUS GROUP PERSON St. Patrick's Day SPORTING EVENT BAR And their bodyguard, pushing you away PORTRAIT summer camp baby you screaming co-worker happy hour pointing at team's name on shirt ΤΑΚΕΝ Α blue sky thin you LONG TIME hang gliding AGO rock climbing white wall not-bald you FACEBOOK YOU ONLY Photoshopped PROFILE DID ONCE scuba diving driving PORTRAITS + sneer middle finger offering drink beach yoga blowing smoke at lens АCTIVITY Europe INTERACTING WITH VIEWER marijuana jogging ON VACATION large fish sword SELF EXOTIC BADASS PORTRAIT gun LOCATION CONSPICUOUS hiking on a boat PROPS bling mountaintop rooftop EXPENSIVE sports car acoustic guitar camera hiding face SELF DECEPTIVE SHOT excessive makeup Asian stripper motorcycle PROFESSIONAL PHOTO brick wall extreme angle in underwear windswept hair fashion model PARTIALLY UNDRESSED feigned shyness USING MIRROR in swimsuit DRESS- movie star UP ab reveal shirtless CAVE-LIKE ROOM blinding flash suicide face cos play BATHROOM sexy face flexing murder face sleepy eyes dead robot eyes PORTRAIT INTERPRETATION FASTOMPANY CROPPING ZOOM 1 cerebral, observant, possibly fat introverted, loner, possibly hiding a dark secret 1 2 shy, playful, possibly 3 crooked-nosed 2 average, well-rounded 3 outgoing, talkative, possibly balding extroverted, open, or possibly a skilled Machiavellian 3 4 slutty, possibly headless manipulator intense, possibly a poet, or a murderer, or both (like Hannibal Lecter!) 4 ANGLE 0°-5° 6°-15° 16°-30° 31°-50° < 51° stable self-consciously quirky fun-loving risky business dangerously volatile DESIGNED BY DOOGIE HORNER * in 2% of portraits, cropping and angle is due to drunkenness, laziness, or lack of artistic prowess, and doesn't otherwise reflect subject's character ------ 이 still full-of-potential you