Do You Need a Social Media Detox?

DO YOU NEED A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX? POKE ME Most experts agree that social media has revolutionized the way people interact with one another. Yet, for all its benefits, it has a dark side: creeping addictiveness. It often starts at a young age, with nothing more than a harmless, occasional status update. Upon adulthood, however, it explodes into a full-blown debilitating condition: Obsessive "places" check-ins, "likes," and improper acronym use abound. Think you've experienced any of the above? Below are the signs and symptoms that you might be need of a social media detox. Sympa Symptom TWEET SPEAK THUMBS-UP PARALYSIS Symptom @Kathy Spent the weekend updating my profile #whatidoeveryweekend Next week on Tosh.0.. POKE ME When co-workers ask what you did over the I weekend, your replies come in the form of 140 characters or less. In fact, you find talking at any length greater than 140 characters to be both vexing and boring. When you experience approval, or some kind of enjoyment in life, your thumb automatically extends into an upright position. This condition becomes particularly acute when you engage in a "liking" rampage on Facebook. Symptom RETWEET DEPRESSION Symptom 4 LOL-TISMS I'm lolling. POKE ME You are often thrown into bouts of manic In real-life conversations, when something is 4 particularly funny, you often begin "LOL-ing" uncontrollably. No, not just laughing at loud, but literally spelling out the letters "L-0-L" in order to demonstrate your enjoyment of the joke. Terminal symptoms often include the persistent use of "ROFL," "LMFA0," "Lollerskating," and "ROFLcopter." depression when you discover that your tweets have not been re-tweeted enough. This depression often deepens when you find that your Tumblr posts have not been re-blogged, or your Facebook status updates have not been liked, Symptom 5 ACCOUNT HOARDING Symptom SUPREME MAYOR 71 Y! Social media addicts are often prolific hoarders. You have strived mightily, and consequently achieved mayorship of over 30 different While most hoarders hold onto boxes full of unusable garbage, social media hoarders hold onto accounts from social networking sites that have long lost their popularity. They refuse to give up on the infinitesimal chance that they may become popular locations. You've even altered your daily route so that you can check-in as often as possible in as many different locations as possible. You've also inevitably been removed by security on more than one occasion for frequent loitering. again. Symptom FAKE FARMER АНАВ SYNDROME Symptom POKE ME POKE ME The line between "reality" and "social media 7 reality" often becomes blurred. Just because you You are often thrown into a seething, uncontrol- lable rage when one or more of your frequented social networks is down. You exhibit Captain Ahab-type tendencies when the infamous Fail Whale appears, and then yell at the girl at the Genius Bar for not moving fast enough when removing the harpoon you put through your Macbook Pro are one of the top farmers on Farmville doesn't mean that your plans to start your own farm will go over too well-mostly due to the fact that 90% of your time is spent on the Internet and not outdoors. DEVICE OBSESSION OFFLINE COMPLEX Symptom Symptom 10 POKE ME On the off-chance that you leave behind your 10 iPhone, iPad, laptop, Droid, or any other mobile device, your lack of constant interaction with social media causes you to slip into a paranoid psychosis. The world begins to close in on you, and you seek the only refuge you can-your trusty Reddit mask. You have spent most of your income on multiple devices that automatically update all of your social networks while simultaneously registering for new ones fresh out of SXSW Interactive. You would have gone there yourself, but that would have meant time away from your intricately-crafted social media hub. COLUMNSFIVE twitter.com/columnfive DO YOU NEED A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX? POKE ME Most experts agree that social media has revolutionized the way people interact with one another. Yet, for all its benefits, it has a dark side: creeping addictiveness. It often starts at a young age, with nothing more than a harmless, occasional status update. Upon adulthood, however, it explodes into a full-blown debilitating condition: Obsessive "places" check-ins, "likes," and improper acronym use abound. Think you've experienced any of the above? Below are the signs and symptoms that you might be need of a social media detox. Sympa Symptom TWEET SPEAK THUMBS-UP PARALYSIS Symptom @Kathy Spent the weekend updating my profile #whatidoeveryweekend Next week on Tosh.0.. POKE ME When co-workers ask what you did over the I weekend, your replies come in the form of 140 characters or less. In fact, you find talking at any length greater than 140 characters to be both vexing and boring. When you experience approval, or some kind of enjoyment in life, your thumb automatically extends into an upright position. This condition becomes particularly acute when you engage in a "liking" rampage on Facebook. Symptom RETWEET DEPRESSION Symptom 4 LOL-TISMS I'm lolling. POKE ME You are often thrown into bouts of manic In real-life conversations, when something is 4 particularly funny, you often begin "LOL-ing" uncontrollably. No, not just laughing at loud, but literally spelling out the letters "L-0-L" in order to demonstrate your enjoyment of the joke. Terminal symptoms often include the persistent use of "ROFL," "LMFA0," "Lollerskating," and "ROFLcopter." depression when you discover that your tweets have not been re-tweeted enough. This depression often deepens when you find that your Tumblr posts have not been re-blogged, or your Facebook status updates have not been liked, Symptom 5 ACCOUNT HOARDING Symptom SUPREME MAYOR 71 Y! Social media addicts are often prolific hoarders. You have strived mightily, and consequently achieved mayorship of over 30 different While most hoarders hold onto boxes full of unusable garbage, social media hoarders hold onto accounts from social networking sites that have long lost their popularity. They refuse to give up on the infinitesimal chance that they may become popular locations. You've even altered your daily route so that you can check-in as often as possible in as many different locations as possible. You've also inevitably been removed by security on more than one occasion for frequent loitering. again. Symptom FAKE FARMER АНАВ SYNDROME Symptom POKE ME POKE ME The line between "reality" and "social media 7 reality" often becomes blurred. Just because you You are often thrown into a seething, uncontrol- lable rage when one or more of your frequented social networks is down. You exhibit Captain Ahab-type tendencies when the infamous Fail Whale appears, and then yell at the girl at the Genius Bar for not moving fast enough when removing the harpoon you put through your Macbook Pro are one of the top farmers on Farmville doesn't mean that your plans to start your own farm will go over too well-mostly due to the fact that 90% of your time is spent on the Internet and not outdoors. DEVICE OBSESSION OFFLINE COMPLEX Symptom Symptom 10 POKE ME On the off-chance that you leave behind your 10 iPhone, iPad, laptop, Droid, or any other mobile device, your lack of constant interaction with social media causes you to slip into a paranoid psychosis. The world begins to close in on you, and you seek the only refuge you can-your trusty Reddit mask. You have spent most of your income on multiple devices that automatically update all of your social networks while simultaneously registering for new ones fresh out of SXSW Interactive. You would have gone there yourself, but that would have meant time away from your intricately-crafted social media hub. COLUMNSFIVE twitter.com/columnfive DO YOU NEED A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX? POKE ME Most experts agree that social media has revolutionized the way people interact with one another. Yet, for all its benefits, it has a dark side: creeping addictiveness. It often starts at a young age, with nothing more than a harmless, occasional status update. Upon adulthood, however, it explodes into a full-blown debilitating condition: Obsessive "places" check-ins, "likes," and improper acronym use abound. Think you've experienced any of the above? Below are the signs and symptoms that you might be need of a social media detox. Sympa Symptom TWEET SPEAK THUMBS-UP PARALYSIS Symptom @Kathy Spent the weekend updating my profile #whatidoeveryweekend Next week on Tosh.0.. POKE ME When co-workers ask what you did over the I weekend, your replies come in the form of 140 characters or less. In fact, you find talking at any length greater than 140 characters to be both vexing and boring. When you experience approval, or some kind of enjoyment in life, your thumb automatically extends into an upright position. This condition becomes particularly acute when you engage in a "liking" rampage on Facebook. Symptom RETWEET DEPRESSION Symptom 4 LOL-TISMS I'm lolling. POKE ME You are often thrown into bouts of manic In real-life conversations, when something is 4 particularly funny, you often begin "LOL-ing" uncontrollably. No, not just laughing at loud, but literally spelling out the letters "L-0-L" in order to demonstrate your enjoyment of the joke. Terminal symptoms often include the persistent use of "ROFL," "LMFA0," "Lollerskating," and "ROFLcopter." depression when you discover that your tweets have not been re-tweeted enough. This depression often deepens when you find that your Tumblr posts have not been re-blogged, or your Facebook status updates have not been liked, Symptom 5 ACCOUNT HOARDING Symptom SUPREME MAYOR 71 Y! Social media addicts are often prolific hoarders. You have strived mightily, and consequently achieved mayorship of over 30 different While most hoarders hold onto boxes full of unusable garbage, social media hoarders hold onto accounts from social networking sites that have long lost their popularity. They refuse to give up on the infinitesimal chance that they may become popular locations. You've even altered your daily route so that you can check-in as often as possible in as many different locations as possible. You've also inevitably been removed by security on more than one occasion for frequent loitering. again. Symptom FAKE FARMER АНАВ SYNDROME Symptom POKE ME POKE ME The line between "reality" and "social media 7 reality" often becomes blurred. Just because you You are often thrown into a seething, uncontrol- lable rage when one or more of your frequented social networks is down. You exhibit Captain Ahab-type tendencies when the infamous Fail Whale appears, and then yell at the girl at the Genius Bar for not moving fast enough when removing the harpoon you put through your Macbook Pro are one of the top farmers on Farmville doesn't mean that your plans to start your own farm will go over too well-mostly due to the fact that 90% of your time is spent on the Internet and not outdoors. DEVICE OBSESSION OFFLINE COMPLEX Symptom Symptom 10 POKE ME On the off-chance that you leave behind your 10 iPhone, iPad, laptop, Droid, or any other mobile device, your lack of constant interaction with social media causes you to slip into a paranoid psychosis. The world begins to close in on you, and you seek the only refuge you can-your trusty Reddit mask. You have spent most of your income on multiple devices that automatically update all of your social networks while simultaneously registering for new ones fresh out of SXSW Interactive. You would have gone there yourself, but that would have meant time away from your intricately-crafted social media hub. COLUMNSFIVE twitter.com/columnfive DO YOU NEED A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX? POKE ME Most experts agree that social media has revolutionized the way people interact with one another. Yet, for all its benefits, it has a dark side: creeping addictiveness. It often starts at a young age, with nothing more than a harmless, occasional status update. Upon adulthood, however, it explodes into a full-blown debilitating condition: Obsessive "places" check-ins, "likes," and improper acronym use abound. Think you've experienced any of the above? Below are the signs and symptoms that you might be need of a social media detox. Sympa Symptom TWEET SPEAK THUMBS-UP PARALYSIS Symptom @Kathy Spent the weekend updating my profile #whatidoeveryweekend Next week on Tosh.0.. POKE ME When co-workers ask what you did over the I weekend, your replies come in the form of 140 characters or less. In fact, you find talking at any length greater than 140 characters to be both vexing and boring. When you experience approval, or some kind of enjoyment in life, your thumb automatically extends into an upright position. This condition becomes particularly acute when you engage in a "liking" rampage on Facebook. Symptom RETWEET DEPRESSION Symptom 4 LOL-TISMS I'm lolling. POKE ME You are often thrown into bouts of manic In real-life conversations, when something is 4 particularly funny, you often begin "LOL-ing" uncontrollably. No, not just laughing at loud, but literally spelling out the letters "L-0-L" in order to demonstrate your enjoyment of the joke. Terminal symptoms often include the persistent use of "ROFL," "LMFA0," "Lollerskating," and "ROFLcopter." depression when you discover that your tweets have not been re-tweeted enough. This depression often deepens when you find that your Tumblr posts have not been re-blogged, or your Facebook status updates have not been liked, Symptom 5 ACCOUNT HOARDING Symptom SUPREME MAYOR 71 Y! Social media addicts are often prolific hoarders. You have strived mightily, and consequently achieved mayorship of over 30 different While most hoarders hold onto boxes full of unusable garbage, social media hoarders hold onto accounts from social networking sites that have long lost their popularity. They refuse to give up on the infinitesimal chance that they may become popular locations. You've even altered your daily route so that you can check-in as often as possible in as many different locations as possible. You've also inevitably been removed by security on more than one occasion for frequent loitering. again. Symptom FAKE FARMER АНАВ SYNDROME Symptom POKE ME POKE ME The line between "reality" and "social media 7 reality" often becomes blurred. Just because you You are often thrown into a seething, uncontrol- lable rage when one or more of your frequented social networks is down. You exhibit Captain Ahab-type tendencies when the infamous Fail Whale appears, and then yell at the girl at the Genius Bar for not moving fast enough when removing the harpoon you put through your Macbook Pro are one of the top farmers on Farmville doesn't mean that your plans to start your own farm will go over too well-mostly due to the fact that 90% of your time is spent on the Internet and not outdoors. DEVICE OBSESSION OFFLINE COMPLEX Symptom Symptom 10 POKE ME On the off-chance that you leave behind your 10 iPhone, iPad, laptop, Droid, or any other mobile device, your lack of constant interaction with social media causes you to slip into a paranoid psychosis. The world begins to close in on you, and you seek the only refuge you can-your trusty Reddit mask. You have spent most of your income on multiple devices that automatically update all of your social networks while simultaneously registering for new ones fresh out of SXSW Interactive. You would have gone there yourself, but that would have meant time away from your intricately-crafted social media hub. COLUMNSFIVE twitter.com/columnfive DO YOU NEED A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX? POKE ME Most experts agree that social media has revolutionized the way people interact with one another. Yet, for all its benefits, it has a dark side: creeping addictiveness. It often starts at a young age, with nothing more than a harmless, occasional status update. Upon adulthood, however, it explodes into a full-blown debilitating condition: Obsessive "places" check-ins, "likes," and improper acronym use abound. Think you've experienced any of the above? Below are the signs and symptoms that you might be need of a social media detox. Sympa Symptom TWEET SPEAK THUMBS-UP PARALYSIS Symptom @Kathy Spent the weekend updating my profile #whatidoeveryweekend Next week on Tosh.0.. POKE ME When co-workers ask what you did over the I weekend, your replies come in the form of 140 characters or less. In fact, you find talking at any length greater than 140 characters to be both vexing and boring. When you experience approval, or some kind of enjoyment in life, your thumb automatically extends into an upright position. This condition becomes particularly acute when you engage in a "liking" rampage on Facebook. Symptom RETWEET DEPRESSION Symptom 4 LOL-TISMS I'm lolling. POKE ME You are often thrown into bouts of manic In real-life conversations, when something is 4 particularly funny, you often begin "LOL-ing" uncontrollably. No, not just laughing at loud, but literally spelling out the letters "L-0-L" in order to demonstrate your enjoyment of the joke. Terminal symptoms often include the persistent use of "ROFL," "LMFA0," "Lollerskating," and "ROFLcopter." depression when you discover that your tweets have not been re-tweeted enough. This depression often deepens when you find that your Tumblr posts have not been re-blogged, or your Facebook status updates have not been liked, Symptom 5 ACCOUNT HOARDING Symptom SUPREME MAYOR 71 Y! Social media addicts are often prolific hoarders. You have strived mightily, and consequently achieved mayorship of over 30 different While most hoarders hold onto boxes full of unusable garbage, social media hoarders hold onto accounts from social networking sites that have long lost their popularity. They refuse to give up on the infinitesimal chance that they may become popular locations. You've even altered your daily route so that you can check-in as often as possible in as many different locations as possible. You've also inevitably been removed by security on more than one occasion for frequent loitering. again. Symptom FAKE FARMER АНАВ SYNDROME Symptom POKE ME POKE ME The line between "reality" and "social media 7 reality" often becomes blurred. Just because you You are often thrown into a seething, uncontrol- lable rage when one or more of your frequented social networks is down. You exhibit Captain Ahab-type tendencies when the infamous Fail Whale appears, and then yell at the girl at the Genius Bar for not moving fast enough when removing the harpoon you put through your Macbook Pro are one of the top farmers on Farmville doesn't mean that your plans to start your own farm will go over too well-mostly due to the fact that 90% of your time is spent on the Internet and not outdoors. DEVICE OBSESSION OFFLINE COMPLEX Symptom Symptom 10 POKE ME On the off-chance that you leave behind your 10 iPhone, iPad, laptop, Droid, or any other mobile device, your lack of constant interaction with social media causes you to slip into a paranoid psychosis. The world begins to close in on you, and you seek the only refuge you can-your trusty Reddit mask. You have spent most of your income on multiple devices that automatically update all of your social networks while simultaneously registering for new ones fresh out of SXSW Interactive. You would have gone there yourself, but that would have meant time away from your intricately-crafted social media hub. COLUMNSFIVE twitter.com/columnfive