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Anatomy of a Hangover

STAGE ONE: KILL ME WHAT'S GOING DOWN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THROWING UP. BRAIN MOUTH SKIN HEART UVER Flushing, sweating, Your racing heart- This tasty organ and dilated blood Thirst and dry mouth can be blamed directly on the drinks. Alcohol acts as a diuretic and sucks the fluid that booze causes from the male body lusterless, dry, and faster than your sister in a Denny's parking lot. Does it feel like a beat is a result of the buildup of acetaldehyde, a toxin produced during the diges- tion of alcohol. The cumulative effects of a sus- tained drinking Howard Sobel M.D., problem enlarges the wrong love muscle and could pig made love to your skull? Thank cytokines, Inflam- matory chemicals produces the enzymes responsi- ble for breaking vessels are all side effects of a night out. You'll look "dul, down ethanol. In the long term, to0 generally older," in the morning says to be produced in excess by your immune system. Cytokines, accord- Ing to Dr. David Sack, an expert in comprehensive neuroscience, cause "pain, think- ing and memory problems, evenanxi- ety." Yup, a typical Sunday morning (minus the dead much of the stuff and scarring (cir- rhosis) becomes a problem. And sorry Eskimos, people of director of the N.Y. Institute of Aes- thetic Dermatology & Laser Surgery. heart failurgestive Asiatic descent are genetically poorer at digesting alcohol. Yet still genetically gifted at producing the world's best Abuse the hooch and chronic blood vessel dilation will redden your face and nose for good- and not in a cute, tentacle porn. Rudolphy way. clown in our bed). STAGE TWO: HELP ME THESE POPULAR POST-DRINKING "CURES" ARE ANYTHING BUT. HAIR OF THE DOG "Drinking more alcohol might "Hornovers" are definitely postpone a hangover for the short run," says Susan Kraus, to your morning hell. Nobody a dietitian at the Hackensack is quite sure why we wake University Medical Center, "but you've set yourself fur- ther back for the inevitable." SEX the coolest and only bonus up randier than Roman Polanski at a Chuck E. Cheese, but some postulate that booze, as a capillary- medical advice and enjoy one widening vasodilator, gets the blood flowing to the main vein fast. Yet while sex with But be a man-ignore sound of the cocktails to the left! yourself (or another per- son, even!) is a relief of one kind, it won't ease a split- ting skull. EXERCISE "Sweating it out" might be the most popular, and least helpful, solution. The critical workout is in your liver, not your quads. Sorry, brah- neither anaerobic (pounding the weights) nor aerobic (jazzer-yoga-lates) exercise boosts iver function. In fact, dehydrating yourself further will only worsen your condition. BE AN ALCOHOLIC "The tolerance that alco- holics develop is due to increased enzyme produc- tion," explains Carolyn Dean, M.D., medical director of the Nutritional Magnesium Association. While great in the short term, that doesn't make you boozeproof. Stud- ies show you may be able to handle alcohol-related hang- over symptoms, but you're more likely to suffer from alcohol withdrawal prob- VeDKA COFFEE Once the cappuccino comes out, it's a good sign the party is done, but it's not a cure. Coffee is another diuretic and will only sap more precious water from your already drained body. lems -like halucinations. We know-sounds awesome! STAGE 3: RESURRECTED GIRD YOUR LOINS (AND THE REST OF YOUR BODY) FOR ANOTHER BOOZE BAT EAT POP Acetaminophen (Tylenol, NyQuil) can exacerbate liver problems in heavy "Anything high in protein is a good alcohol buffer," says James Schaefer, Ph.D., and a lead researcher in hang- over studies. A meal high in delicious amino acids should drinkers. Use an over-the- counter antacid, which will ease the cauldron of pain keep the pyloric valve closed brewing in your gut and con- longer. (That's the valve that tains enough aspirin to act as what Dr. Sack calls a controls when your stomach contents dump into your "prostaglandin synthetase inhibitor" (something to bat- tle body damaging cytokines), but not enough to harm your delicate stomach lining. small intestine, where most alcohol is absorbed, dummy.) Avoid fatty or sugary meals before a bender, as they're less efficient. Sigh, so long. Krispy Kreme tuna melts. GO EAST According to a study con- ducted by the Department of Food Science and Technology at the College of Agriculture and Biotechnology at Chun- gnam National University in Deajeon, South Korea (whew!), certain natural compounds could help delay the absorption of alcohol in the small intestine. If you can get your hands on leaves of laurus nobilis, fruit of kochia scoparia, or seed of aesculus you'll be good to go! And are also probably a woodland druid. DRINK Water is an obvious friend, but once the drinking has commenced it's difficult to follow the "eight ounces of water per drink" rule. Also, that rule is for boring peo- ple. You are cool and awe- some, therefore instead of asking for Evian and risking the scorn of the bartender, just skip all carbonated drinks (they irritate the pyloric valve) and take your cocktails mixed with water or fruit juices. STAGE ONE: KILL ME WHAT'S GOING DOWN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THROWING UP. BRAIN MOUTH SKIN HEART UVER Flushing, sweating, Your racing heart- This tasty organ and dilated blood Thirst and dry mouth can be blamed directly on the drinks. Alcohol acts as a diuretic and sucks the fluid that booze causes from the male body lusterless, dry, and faster than your sister in a Denny's parking lot. Does it feel like a beat is a result of the buildup of acetaldehyde, a toxin produced during the diges- tion of alcohol. The cumulative effects of a sus- tained drinking Howard Sobel M.D., problem enlarges the wrong love muscle and could pig made love to your skull? Thank cytokines, Inflam- matory chemicals produces the enzymes responsi- ble for breaking vessels are all side effects of a night out. You'll look "dul, down ethanol. In the long term, to0 generally older," in the morning says to be produced in excess by your immune system. Cytokines, accord- Ing to Dr. David Sack, an expert in comprehensive neuroscience, cause "pain, think- ing and memory problems, evenanxi- ety." Yup, a typical Sunday morning (minus the dead much of the stuff and scarring (cir- rhosis) becomes a problem. And sorry Eskimos, people of director of the N.Y. Institute of Aes- thetic Dermatology & Laser Surgery. heart failurgestive Asiatic descent are genetically poorer at digesting alcohol. Yet still genetically gifted at producing the world's best Abuse the hooch and chronic blood vessel dilation will redden your face and nose for good- and not in a cute, tentacle porn. Rudolphy way. clown in our bed). STAGE TWO: HELP ME THESE POPULAR POST-DRINKING "CURES" ARE ANYTHING BUT. HAIR OF THE DOG "Drinking more alcohol might "Hornovers" are definitely postpone a hangover for the short run," says Susan Kraus, to your morning hell. Nobody a dietitian at the Hackensack is quite sure why we wake University Medical Center, "but you've set yourself fur- ther back for the inevitable." SEX the coolest and only bonus up randier than Roman Polanski at a Chuck E. Cheese, but some postulate that booze, as a capillary- medical advice and enjoy one widening vasodilator, gets the blood flowing to the main vein fast. Yet while sex with But be a man-ignore sound of the cocktails to the left! yourself (or another per- son, even!) is a relief of one kind, it won't ease a split- ting skull. EXERCISE "Sweating it out" might be the most popular, and least helpful, solution. The critical workout is in your liver, not your quads. Sorry, brah- neither anaerobic (pounding the weights) nor aerobic (jazzer-yoga-lates) exercise boosts iver function. In fact, dehydrating yourself further will only worsen your condition. BE AN ALCOHOLIC "The tolerance that alco- holics develop is due to increased enzyme produc- tion," explains Carolyn Dean, M.D., medical director of the Nutritional Magnesium Association. While great in the short term, that doesn't make you boozeproof. Stud- ies show you may be able to handle alcohol-related hang- over symptoms, but you're more likely to suffer from alcohol withdrawal prob- VeDKA COFFEE Once the cappuccino comes out, it's a good sign the party is done, but it's not a cure. Coffee is another diuretic and will only sap more precious water from your already drained body. lems -like halucinations. We know-sounds awesome! STAGE 3: RESURRECTED GIRD YOUR LOINS (AND THE REST OF YOUR BODY) FOR ANOTHER BOOZE BAT EAT POP "Anything high in protein is a good alcohol buffer," says James Schaefer, Ph.D., and Acetaminophen (Tylenol, NyQuil) can exacerbate liver problems in heavy a lead researcher in hang- over studies. A meal high in delicious amino acids should drinkers. Use an over-the- counter antacid, which will ease the cauldron of pain keep the pyloric valve closed brewing in your gut and con- longer. (That's the valve that tains enough aspirin to act as what Dr. Sack calls a controls when your stomach contents dump into your "prostaglandin synthetase inhibitor" (something to bat- tle body damaging cytokines), but not enough to harm your delicate stomach lining. small intestine, where most alcohol is absorbed, dummy.) Avoid fatty or sugary meals before a bender, as they're less efficient. Sigh, so long. Krispy Kreme tuna melts. GO EAST According to a study con- ducted by the Department of Food Science and Technology at the College of Agriculture and Biotechnology at Chun- gnam National University in Deajeon, South Korea (whew!), certain natural compounds could help delay the absorption of alcohol in the small intestine. If you can get your hands on leaves of laurus nobilis, fruit of kochia scoparia, or seed of aesculus you'll be good to go! And are also probably a woodland druid. DRINK Water is an obvious friend, but once the drinking has commenced it's difficult to follow the "eight ounces of water per drink" rule. Also, that rule is for boring peo- ple. You are cool and awe- some, therefore instead of asking for Evian and risking the scorn of the bartender, just skip all carbonated drinks (they irritate the pyloric valve) and take your cocktails mixed with water or fruit juices. STAGE ONE: KILL ME WHAT'S GOING DOWN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THROWING UP. BRAIN MOUTH SKIN HEART UVER Flushing, sweating, Your racing heart- This tasty organ and dilated blood Thirst and dry mouth can be blamed directly on the drinks. Alcohol acts as a diuretic and sucks the fluid that booze causes from the male body lusterless, dry, and faster than your sister in a Denny's parking lot. Does it feel like a beat is a result of the buildup of acetaldehyde, a toxin produced during the diges- tion of alcohol. The cumulative effects of a sus- tained drinking Howard Sobel M.D., problem enlarges the wrong love muscle and could pig made love to your skull? Thank cytokines, Inflam- matory chemicals produces the enzymes responsi- ble for breaking vessels are all side effects of a night out. You'll look "dul, down ethanol. In the long term, to0 generally older," in the morning says to be produced in excess by your immune system. Cytokines, accord- Ing to Dr. David Sack, an expert in comprehensive neuroscience, cause "pain, think- ing and memory problems, evenanxi- ety." Yup, a typical Sunday morning (minus the dead much of the stuff and scarring (cir- rhosis) becomes a problem. And sorry Eskimos, people of director of the N.Y. Institute of Aes- thetic Dermatology & Laser Surgery. heart failurgestive Asiatic descent are genetically poorer at digesting alcohol. Yet still genetically gifted at producing the world's best Abuse the hooch and chronic blood vessel dilation will redden your face and nose for good- and not in a cute, tentacle porn. Rudolphy way. clown in our bed). STAGE TWO: HELP ME THESE POPULAR POST-DRINKING "CURES" ARE ANYTHING BUT. HAIR OF THE DOG "Drinking more alcohol might "Hornovers" are definitely postpone a hangover for the short run," says Susan Kraus, to your morning hell. Nobody a dietitian at the Hackensack is quite sure why we wake University Medical Center, "but you've set yourself fur- ther back for the inevitable." SEX the coolest and only bonus up randier than Roman Polanski at a Chuck E. Cheese, but some postulate that booze, as a capillary- medical advice and enjoy one widening vasodilator, gets the blood flowing to the main vein fast. Yet while sex with But be a man-ignore sound of the cocktails to the left! yourself (or another per- son, even!) is a relief of one kind, it won't ease a split- ting skull. EXERCISE "Sweating it out" might be the most popular, and least helpful, solution. The critical workout is in your liver, not your quads. Sorry, brah- neither anaerobic (pounding the weights) nor aerobic (jazzer-yoga-lates) exercise boosts iver function. In fact, dehydrating yourself further will only worsen your condition. BE AN ALCOHOLIC "The tolerance that alco- holics develop is due to increased enzyme produc- tion," explains Carolyn Dean, M.D., medical director of the Nutritional Magnesium Association. While great in the short term, that doesn't make you boozeproof. Stud- ies show you may be able to handle alcohol-related hang- over symptoms, but you're more likely to suffer from alcohol withdrawal prob- VeDKA COFFEE Once the cappuccino comes out, it's a good sign the party is done, but it's not a cure. Coffee is another diuretic and will only sap more precious water from your already drained body. lems -like halucinations. We know-sounds awesome! STAGE 3: RESURRECTED GIRD YOUR LOINS (AND THE REST OF YOUR BODY) FOR ANOTHER BOOZE BAT EAT POP "Anything high in protein is a good alcohol buffer," says James Schaefer, Ph.D., and Acetaminophen (Tylenol, NyQuil) can exacerbate liver problems in heavy a lead researcher in hang- over studies. A meal high in delicious amino acids should drinkers. Use an over-the- counter antacid, which will ease the cauldron of pain keep the pyloric valve closed brewing in your gut and con- longer. (That's the valve that tains enough aspirin to act as what Dr. Sack calls a controls when your stomach contents dump into your "prostaglandin synthetase inhibitor" (something to bat- tle body damaging cytokines), but not enough to harm your delicate stomach lining. small intestine, where most alcohol is absorbed, dummy.) Avoid fatty or sugary meals before a bender, as they're less efficient. Sigh, so long. Krispy Kreme tuna melts. GO EAST According to a study con- ducted by the Department of Food Science and Technology at the College of Agriculture and Biotechnology at Chun- gnam National University in Deajeon, South Korea (whew!), certain natural compounds could help delay the absorption of alcohol in the small intestine. If you can get your hands on leaves of laurus nobilis, fruit of kochia scoparia, or seed of aesculus you'll be good to go! And are also probably a woodland druid. DRINK Water is an obvious friend, but once the drinking has commenced it's difficult to follow the "eight ounces of water per drink" rule. Also, that rule is for boring peo- ple. You are cool and awe- some, therefore instead of asking for Evian and risking the scorn of the bartender, just skip all carbonated drinks (they irritate the pyloric valve) and take your cocktails mixed with water or fruit juices. STAGE ONE: KILL ME WHAT'S GOING DOWN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THROWING UP. BRAIN MOUTH SKIN HEART UVER Flushing, sweating, Your racing heart- This tasty organ and dilated blood Thirst and dry mouth can be blamed directly on the drinks. Alcohol acts as a diuretic and sucks the fluid that booze causes from the male body lusterless, dry, and faster than your sister in a Denny's parking lot. Does it feel like a beat is a result of the buildup of acetaldehyde, a toxin produced during the diges- tion of alcohol. The cumulative effects of a sus- tained drinking Howard Sobel M.D., problem enlarges the wrong love muscle and could pig made love to your skull? Thank cytokines, Inflam- matory chemicals produces the enzymes responsi- ble for breaking vessels are all side effects of a night out. You'll look "dul, down ethanol. In the long term, to0 generally older," in the morning says to be produced in excess by your immune system. Cytokines, accord- Ing to Dr. David Sack, an expert in comprehensive neuroscience, cause "pain, think- ing and memory problems, evenanxi- ety." Yup, a typical Sunday morning (minus the dead much of the stuff and scarring (cir- rhosis) becomes a problem. And sorry Eskimos, people of director of the N.Y. Institute of Aes- thetic Dermatology & Laser Surgery. heart failurgestive Asiatic descent are genetically poorer at digesting alcohol. Yet still genetically gifted at producing the world's best Abuse the hooch and chronic blood vessel dilation will redden your face and nose for good- and not in a cute, tentacle porn. Rudolphy way. clown in our bed). STAGE TWO: HELP ME THESE POPULAR POST-DRINKING "CURES" ARE ANYTHING BUT. HAIR OF THE DOG "Drinking more alcohol might "Hornovers" are definitely postpone a hangover for the short run," says Susan Kraus, to your morning hell. Nobody a dietitian at the Hackensack is quite sure why we wake University Medical Center, "but you've set yourself fur- ther back for the inevitable." SEX the coolest and only bonus up randier than Roman Polanski at a Chuck E. Cheese, but some postulate that booze, as a capillary- medical advice and enjoy one widening vasodilator, gets the blood flowing to the main vein fast. Yet while sex with But be a man-ignore sound of the cocktails to the left! yourself (or another per- son, even!) is a relief of one kind, it won't ease a split- ting skull. EXERCISE "Sweating it out" might be the most popular, and least helpful, solution. The critical workout is in your liver, not your quads. Sorry, brah- neither anaerobic (pounding the weights) nor aerobic (jazzer-yoga-lates) exercise boosts iver function. In fact, dehydrating yourself further will only worsen your condition. BE AN ALCOHOLIC "The tolerance that alco- holics develop is due to increased enzyme produc- tion," explains Carolyn Dean, M.D., medical director of the Nutritional Magnesium Association. While great in the short term, that doesn't make you boozeproof. Stud- ies show you may be able to handle alcohol-related hang- over symptoms, but you're more likely to suffer from alcohol withdrawal prob- VeDKA COFFEE Once the cappuccino comes out, it's a good sign the party is done, but it's not a cure. Coffee is another diuretic and will only sap more precious water from your already drained body. lems -like halucinations. We know-sounds awesome! STAGE 3: RESURRECTED GIRD YOUR LOINS (AND THE REST OF YOUR BODY) FOR ANOTHER BOOZE BAT EAT POP "Anything high in protein is a good alcohol buffer," says James Schaefer, Ph.D., and Acetaminophen (Tylenol, NyQuil) can exacerbate liver problems in heavy a lead researcher in hang- over studies. A meal high in delicious amino acids should drinkers. Use an over-the- counter antacid, which will ease the cauldron of pain keep the pyloric valve closed brewing in your gut and con- longer. (That's the valve that tains enough aspirin to act as what Dr. Sack calls a controls when your stomach contents dump into your "prostaglandin synthetase inhibitor" (something to bat- tle body damaging cytokines), but not enough to harm your delicate stomach lining. small intestine, where most alcohol is absorbed, dummy.) Avoid fatty or sugary meals before a bender, as they're less efficient. Sigh, so long. Krispy Kreme tuna melts. GO EAST According to a study con- ducted by the Department of Food Science and Technology at the College of Agriculture and Biotechnology at Chun- gnam National University in Deajeon, South Korea (whew!), certain natural compounds could help delay the absorption of alcohol in the small intestine. If you can get your hands on leaves of laurus nobilis, fruit of kochia scoparia, or seed of aesculus you'll be good to go! And are also probably a woodland druid. DRINK Water is an obvious friend, but once the drinking has commenced it's difficult to follow the "eight ounces of water per drink" rule. Also, that rule is for boring peo- ple. You are cool and awe- some, therefore instead of asking for Evian and risking the scorn of the bartender, just skip all carbonated drinks (they irritate the pyloric valve) and take your cocktails mixed with water or fruit juices.

Anatomy of a Hangover

shared by maggie on Mar 23
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There’s nothing worse from waking up after a long, hard night of drinking with a horrible hangover. At the time it feels like you’ll be in pain forever, but eventually (usually after a rough day a...

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