8 Totally Necessary New Punctuation Marks

The "I'm Not Angry" Mark Usage: When you need to be brief, but you're not angry. Example: We need to talk, Collegellumor Collegellumor The Sinceriod Usage: When you want to break out of your cynical shell and be truly honest with someone. Example: Oh, wow. Thank you. This sweater is just what I wanted, CollegelHumor Sarcastises Usage: The opposite of the sinceriod. Use when you want to be sarcastic, but in a way that's {totally different and better from whatever system you're using now. Example: {Oh, wow. Thank you. This sweater is just what I wanted. Hemi-Demi-Semi Colon Usage: If you don't semi-colon, and you're too lazy to learn, you can use this in place of commas, semi-colons, and periods. Pretty much wherever you feel like it. ow when it's appropriate to use a Example: Now I can act superior and avoid learning anything} I'm a stain on humanity. Collegeltumor Andorpersand Usage: One simple symbol for "and/or" &o Example: Some people hate the very existence of the phrase "and/or," but these people are uptight & stupid. Collegellumor Mockwotation Marks Usage: For quoting something that someone didn't say, but totally would say with the way they're being right now. The written equivalent of doing an impression of someone by saying "Look at me, I'm so-and-so" and wiggling your hands by your head, and speaking in a high-pitched voice. Example: *I'm Stacey. I'm going to complain about being hungry but not offer any suggestions of my own, said Stacey. Collegellumor Superellipsis Usage: For an extreme dramatic pause. When you want the reader to wait a good 20 seconds before reading the next part of the sentence. Maybe even imagine the lights flickering and some thunder crashing. Example: He paused, cautiously, as he approached the superellipsis. On the other side he found... more words! CollegetHumor Collegellumor Morgan Freemark Usage: Reminds readers that they can read words in any voice they want, so maybe they should read these words in Morgan Freeman's voice. Ехample: And so, Kevin took this big swig of vodka and straight-up ran head-first into the wall.